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Is it time to break up?
Is it time for us to break up?
My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over 2 years. I am 19, he is 20. We started dating in high school, and have known each other for about 4.5 years total. I love him. We have a lot of fun being together.
Recently, however, we have both been thinking more about getting married in the next couple years. I always wanted to get married young so it's been exciting to think about. Because we have been talking more about marriage, I feel like things have gotten more stressful. I used to feel really good about marrying him, but now I am not so sure.
1. We fight a bit. We tend to argue, and we are both pretty stubborn so it usually doesn't end too happily.
2. I feel like he isn't really putting in very much effort to...anything, really. His school work (we are sophomores in college) is average, he doesn't have a part time job, he sleeps through his alarm, and his parents still tell him what to do.
3. This sounds super mean, but I always feel like I am working harder. Like whether it's with our date-night plans, in school, in the relationship- I feel like I am the one who has to hold everything together. And I feel like I deserve someone who can be on my level with me, instead of someone I have to drag everywhere.
4. This is probably worst of all, but I recently met a new guy and he is really nice and cute and fun, and he acts like a grown up! He is a few years older. I do like him. I don't know how he feels about me, but I almost feel like that doesn't matter so much. It's more the idea that I am **willing** to look around. Seems like a problem!
I know this is really long, but I would appreciate some input. I have never dated anyone else before (and that is scary) but I want to do the right thing!!!
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Honestly I know i'm young but I think you should just talk to him about how you feel and see where it goes I mean your still in college you have plenty of time if you decide not to be together. It never hurt to be single for awhile. Oh and p.s ALL couples argue so its not only you. I hope I helped. :)
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This is all fresh in your head. Take some time to really think about what you want. The worst thing you can do is break up with him, realize its not what you want and get back together with him. It just cycles and then thats how the relationship is.
I may be wrong, but I think this stuff maybe started bugging you to the point of breaking up when the marriage talk started. In your head, he shifted to more than a boyfriend. Then you started looking at all his qualities that wouldn't be good as a husband.
With the whole working harder thing in the relationship, Girls tend to see more things wrong in the relationship and are always striving to make things better. While guys see nothing wrong with it and just enjoy hanging out with you instead of planning all these amazing dates. Dont get me wrong, there are boys out there that would do these things and the beginning of relationships are always like this. But generally speaking for me, this tends to fade out.
You say worst of all in your next part, but do not ever feel bad about having feelings for someone else while your this young. These feelings would be bad if you were married but your still young and its natural to get curious, especially since your boyfriend now is your only real relationship. THe fact is though, this means you are not ready to get married. And this is a good thing! Couples will see some of their friends getting married and want to rush into that life. The security and life are all things we are taught to want from an early age. But why rush it? 19 is still young and college is some of the time where you really figure out what your doing. Having secure jobs or atleast knowing what you want to do is the time to get married.
You sound like a really nice person and I know this seems like a huge decision. Just try to step back and think of what you want while keeping in mind that he is just in college and will grow up a little.
Hope this helps!
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Sometimes it's nice to think about marrying young but talking about actually going through with it can be damaging. At 19, Why are you in such a hurry? You ever heard that saying "When you marry young, It ends young?"
The marriage talk is obviously putting stress on your boyfriend. If he is stressing so much then he is not ready 19-20 some people are just not ready. Also, Your boyfriend could have other things going on his life right now and from the sound of it he may even be a bit depressed. If you want to save your relationship then I would lay off the marriage talk, At 19 there shouldn't be any rush. However, If you feel that you aren't happy and you are really into this new guy then maybe you should move on but I wouldn't rush it with him either. Talking about marriage to soon can scare a guy off or even stress him out...
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