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how it all started.
13/f
for someone my age i can definately say i have witnessed a lot of violence in my family. it started when i was 2. i still have flashbacks of how my dad beat my mom. and raped her. they divoreced and of course my mom won the court battle of full custody and i would only get get go with my dad Wednesday and every other weekend. a few years past and my mom got a new husband and they now have two kids (half broher and sister)i love them! then my stepdad got deported back to Mexico. He had no choice. And my mom was left with the kids and I. She struggled but i helped her around the house, clean, take care of the kids while she worked hard paying for our lttle apartment.
But i still had the Wednsday with my dad and every other weekend. So, my dad picked me up from my mom's aprtment and my dad and i left to go to his rented room. Night came and it was about 1:30 and i felt a hand on my vagina, it was my dad's(he was sleeping). . . . . i freakeD out and took his hand out and grabbed my phone and ran to the bathroom. i called my mom crying and she picked me up. and i as around 11-12. She called the cops but my dad HAS SOO MUCH FREAKING LUCK he conviced the police it was one of my hallicinations!or "wetdreams"?! and im like WHAT THE FUCKK?!!! I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AND I DIDNT LIE The cops didnt beilive me (except for my mom) so CASE DISSMISSED.my momm couldnt take it anymore and she left with my permission back too Mexico. accrodding to law my mom has to leave me with my dad. and grandma. so he left she's now happy and im stuck here with my awesome grandma but with my stupid dad. i love/hate him. :/
and after all that shit^ im now 12-13 i started cutting myself and my guyfriend found out and he's telling me too stop (i cutt myself kinda deep)and he confiscaed all of my sharp objects. it's none of his business and it's not hurting anyone. it relaxes me. and idc what anyone says i'll still do it. i sometimes want to die and just have the world leave me alone. . .i've been acting strange with my dad and he wants me too see a physcoilogist because he thinks im "mentally unstable". . .Am i?? :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
don't cut yourself. just don't. you're beautiful and wonderful the way you are. your guyfriend is right. don't trust your dad, he seems weird. trust your mom. and don't cut yourself! you're perfec the way yoiu are. don't change! WE BELIEVE IN YOU. :D
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aww :(dont worry.go back with mum and live in mexico with your family.you know whats true what happend ,dont need stupid cops to believe you.dads unsafe and you live with grandma and him?dose nanna know doseshe support youor is she his mum and stick up for her boy? dont worry about if he did it, get to your family.xxx
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You are not mental but you should get some help you have PTSD. (post dramatic stress disorder) now remember this is the internet I am not diagnosing you i am giving you my opinion. Now cutting I think you should wear a rubber band around your wrists and snap it when you feel stressed. That is how I quit cutting years ago. Sometimes when I get real emotional I will really want to do it again. But I dont I might have to get in the shower and scream and cry but I dont cut. Now for treating what I believe you have is anti depressants they will suggest talking about your problems and it could be good for you. I hated it when I was younger but honestly once you feel more comfortable with the person and you let them get to know you. It is so much better. and talking to someone you isnt related to you or close with you is so much easier. Everything will be alright. I know your mother loves you and as soon as you are of age you can be with her. I am sure your father didnt mean to do that to you if you were sleeping just dont sleep in the same room with him if at all possible. and keep your head up. It doesn't go away but it does get easier to deal with.
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Don't cut yourself even if it calms you I have a friend that used to do that. You're friend is just wanting to protect you whenever you think about cutting instead do something you enjoy that might take your mind off things but won't hurt you or anyone like listening to music or take walks to clear your head or something and tell your mom about it she might help you by taking you out of that living situation
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