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Long Distance Relationship Help
Hi, I'm in desperate need of advice on how to get through a long distance relationship. I'm from New Zealand and my boyfriend has moved to Christchurch for university. I live in Auckland which is in the North Island. He's in the South. How do I learn to cope with the distance? We are both 18 and have been going out for well over a year.
Please any advice or personal experiences with LDR's (long distant relationships) would be much appreciated. I really love him and would do anything for him and to keep him.
P.S attached is a photo of NZ to gauge the distance.
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Long distance relationships are very difficult I'm not going to lie to you. I was in one for 5 years, The things you would need to consider is the time and effort as well as the stress.
I will give you a little taste of my experience, My ex live just a little over an 1 1/2 away. While that may seem like nothing compared to your distance let me explain something.
We lived in two different states and I did not have a car so in order to see him I had to be willing to travel using public transportation. If I caught a local bus at 11am I wouldn't arrive to his house until 2pm. While the traveling was fun for awhile it became EXHAUSTING after doing it for so long and with the poor economy here in the US the cost for public transportation because to creep up to the point where I just couldn't really afford it anymore. The stress of us being apart was unbearable at times because we used to struggle to keep our relationship strong. It was difficult, I would stay a week but I would come home for two weeks then go back up for a week and it began to interfere with my job. The traveling became overwhelming and problematic and before I knew it I was draining myself out and I just couldn't do it anymore. My ex originally lived an hour away when we first met then moved another half hour out. In time, We had trust issues and we just gradually began to fall out. I learned in time that it would be best for the both of us to move on and do what we need to do in our lives.
My advice to you is not to waste your youth waiting around for someone who is far away from you. I was with my ex for 5 years and that is a long time but I still managed to put myself first. Sometimes we need to do what we have to do in order to move on and get where we need to be in our lives. Your boyfriend has in a way moved on with life, He went to college. Sometimes things hurt like hell but in the end everything happens for a reason. Trust me, I wish I had moved on sooner because it did me nothing but prolong the pain when I could of been focusing on my life all along...
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I've had a much farther distance relationship than that and I will tell you what went wrong with it. We didn't trust each other or try to keep in touch the right way. It was just text and lucky to get a call. Maybe call him once a day at the end of the night to see how everything went with his day. SKYPE. It's something a LDR couple should do. It's closest you'll get to being face to face. Make plans to visit each other once every weekend or once a month. Good luck to you! Hope everything goes well!
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