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Make friends


Question Posted Sunday February 12 2012, 12:32 pm

Hi 16/f
So I have a few friends that go with me to college from high school, but I want to make more. I really don't know how as I'm so shy and it never gets beyond meeting anyone outside college, which gets me down.


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


lifejourney answered Friday March 9 2012, 4:10 pm:
Hi, I posted this answer to another asker as well. For the shyness, I can really relate. I've always been shy but as I got older I just learned to accept that about myself because the more I tried to change it, the more of a nit-wit I seemed. Being shy is rough because, often times, people mispercieve it as being stuck up. It's pretty terrifying and lonely.

So, how to meet more people outside of college?

Creating relationships takes some work. If you meet someone you think you may like to be friends with, think of something you two can do together. This could be as simple as inviting them over to hang out, or go somewhere cool together (movie, local pool, a local event -- look in the newspaper, or on a college board). A great way to meet friends is to take up a hobby you enjoy or volunteer for a cause you appreciate. The hobby could be anything: join a reader's or writer's group, start surfing or windsurfing, join a hiking, running, or dog walking group. There's groups for dog training, scrapbooking, poetry reading, cooking, dancing... heck, there's groups for everything -- pick one that you enjoy and you're bound to meet some people that you like (stick it out though, don't give up after a couple of tries). I found a local hiking group through meetup.com; I'm not sure if that website works for your area, but there are probably similar websites.

Volunteer opportunities could include helping out at an animal shelter, being an advocate for abused children, tutoring at a local school, gardening at the local botanical garden... you name it. Again, pick one that you enjoy and stick it out (the more often someone just sees your face, the closer they will feel toward you).

If you're religiously inclined, you may want to start going to church, mosque, temple, or whatever religion you subscribe to. There, again, you will meet people who share your interests.

Finally, joining professional organizations is very helpful -- not only will you meet people but you will be helping your future career along. There are all kinds of professional organizations, depending on what your interests are. There are organizations for teachers, technical writers, biologists, ecologists, etc. You name it, it's out there.

Best of luck :-)

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gotchalk8 answered Monday February 13 2012, 6:47 am:
I'm also shy, to the point where I don't want new friends. But one day I got tired of it and I went up to some people and said hi! That's all it takes, a simple hi. Then tell them your name and ask them theirs. Don't make the first convo too long because that would be weird. Just the next day, talk to them again for not too long, then the third day you can start talking more to them and asking questions about themselves. If you do this too soon they will think it's weird. Good Luck! :)

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