Gender: Female
Location: Tennessee
Occupation: Teacher & writer
Age: 42
Member Since: March 9, 2012
Answers: 5
Last Update: March 9, 2012
Visitors: 975
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Im 16 years old in 10th grade and it seems my weekday routine is Step #1:Wake up. Step #2:Do not kill self. Step #3:Sleep. Step #4: Repeat. I have 1 or 2 "friends" at school that aren't really close they are just "friendly" to me. I have some close friends that I hangout with every weekend but during the week its so hard for me to get out of bed and go to school so i am low on attendency. I don't necessarily get bullied but I do see people pointing and staring and talking about me a lot which really makes me REALLY upset. I guess I am very sensitive. I usually come home for lunch and cry then go back to school and ill often cry at night. My parents and friends are aware of this and I go to a counselor but it doesn't seem to help at all its been getting worse and worse. I think im so ugly and I know i have a good life im not poor and i have family that loves me but I'm just so sad and I want to die. I don't want to commit suicide but I've definitely thought about it before. If I don't have something to look forward to at all times I get really depressed I usually look forward to the weekend and hanging out with my friends but now its just to hard to make it through school the whole week because it seems like I just get judged. My grades are getting low even though it seems like I try so hard I can't get them up. I try to do little things to motivate me to get myself out of bed like doing my hair a new way and things like that and it worked for a while but not anymore. I like to sleep a lot because cant feel sadness when I'm sleeping. I've never done any drugs. I'm not good at anything (seriously)I hide my face with my hair and I am emo I cut myself sometimes. I'm just tired of living....I just want to love myself but no matter what I do I just cant. (link)
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All of the things you've written here are symptoms of depression. People are probably not talking about you -- or there may be 1-2 that do because you're in high school and teenagers can be cruel like that... and I can guarantee that they're talking about others as well.
That you feel ugly, need too much sleep, cutting, etc. all are symptoms of depression - which your counselor probably has already told you. If not, then you need a different counselor. You should show the counselor the question you have posted here. The counselor also needs to talk to you and your parents about the possibility of getting on an anti-depressant like Paxil or something. Although there has been bad media hype about teenagers taking anti-depressants, the actual issue about that were some adverse effects for a few kids. Anti-depressants actually have helped millions of teenagers. I wish I had this help when I was your age.
Also, that you're writing about this here when you have a counselor concerns me that the counselor you have may not be right for you. Finding the right counselor takes some shopping around -- and you need to find one who went to a good college that has a strong psychology program (asks your parents to research this a bit for you). Ask about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and find a counselor who actually does CBT. A low dose of anti-depressant combined with CBT will probably work wonders for you.
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Hi I am a 33 year old man, and I'm currently long distance dating a 21 year old.
We have been dating for over a year. And we text all day an mainly text during the night...
I love her she been there for me threw thick and thin... We have so much in common, we can talk for hours an never get bored...
An a while ago I found out she been talking to her ex via- email, im chat and phone convos... An she was still telling him she loves him, she wants too be with him... etc etc...
So when I confronting her, she told me the truth that she had been talking too him, and having sex with her other ex...
I forgave her...
And 5 months roll by...
And her other ex from Texas came by...
She lied and told me she was seeing the Twlight movie, and she met up with him, and went mia all night...
I found out confronted her...
And she told me she did, and she just kiss him and that was it, but she was gone all night...
I forgave her because I didn't have proof that she went beyond kissing... An 2day she sent a strange text too me like it was meant really for someone else, saying that she could be at some place in twenty minutes, an i asked her who was that text to, an she said her little cousin...
i need help... please give me the best advice about this siuation, im confused. and I don't know if i can continue to trust her...
Ps: I cheated on her, but way in the beginning an i've changed drastic for her...
(link)
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Why are you dating someone who is 21? You're 33 -- she's 21, that says a lot right there.
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Hi 16/f
So I have a few friends that go with me to college from high school, but I want to make more. I really don't know how as I'm so shy and it never gets beyond meeting anyone outside college, which gets me down. (link)
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Hi, I posted this answer to another asker as well. For the shyness, I can really relate. I've always been shy but as I got older I just learned to accept that about myself because the more I tried to change it, the more of a nit-wit I seemed. Being shy is rough because, often times, people mispercieve it as being stuck up. It's pretty terrifying and lonely.
So, how to meet more people outside of college?
Creating relationships takes some work. If you meet someone you think you may like to be friends with, think of something you two can do together. This could be as simple as inviting them over to hang out, or go somewhere cool together (movie, local pool, a local event -- look in the newspaper, or on a college board). A great way to meet friends is to take up a hobby you enjoy or volunteer for a cause you appreciate. The hobby could be anything: join a reader's or writer's group, start surfing or windsurfing, join a hiking, running, or dog walking group. There's groups for dog training, scrapbooking, poetry reading, cooking, dancing... heck, there's groups for everything -- pick one that you enjoy and you're bound to meet some people that you like (stick it out though, don't give up after a couple of tries). I found a local hiking group through meetup.com; I'm not sure if that website works for your area, but there are probably similar websites.
Volunteer opportunities could include helping out at an animal shelter, being an advocate for abused children, tutoring at a local school, gardening at the local botanical garden... you name it. Again, pick one that you enjoy and stick it out (the more often someone just sees your face, the closer they will feel toward you).
If you're religiously inclined, you may want to start going to church, mosque, temple, or whatever religion you subscribe to. There, again, you will meet people who share your interests.
Finally, joining professional organizations is very helpful -- not only will you meet people but you will be helping your future career along. There are all kinds of professional organizations, depending on what your interests are. There are organizations for teachers, technical writers, biologists, ecologists, etc. You name it, it's out there.
Best of luck :-)
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Lately, I feel so lonely. My sibling and my neice moved across town. I don't talk to my family alot. I don't have any friends. I just go to work and home and stay and go to work and visit my sibling and neice and go home. How can you make new friends? Nobody ever texts or calls me anymore. I lost all my friends after i graduated high school. We just didn't talk anymore and got into so so so some arguements. How can i make new friends?
(link)
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Jasmine is right -- creating relationships takes some work. If you meet someone you think you may like to be friends with, think of something you two can do together. This could be as simple as inviting them over to hang out, or go somewhere cool together (movie, local pool, a local event -- look in the newspaper, or on a college board if you're at college). A great way to meet friends is to take up a hobby you enjoy or volunteer for a cause you appreciate. The hobby could be anything: join a reader's or writer's group, start surfing or windsurfing, join a hiking, running, or dog walking group. There's groups for dog training, scrapbooking, poetry reading, cooking, dancing... heck, there's groups for everything -- pick one that you enjoy and you're bound to meet some people that you like (stick it out though, don't give up after a couple of tries). I found a local hiking group through meetup.com; I'm not sure if that website works for your area, but there are probably similar websites.
Volunteer opportunities could include helping out at an animal shelter, being an advocate for abused children, tutoring at a local school, gardening at the local botanical garden... you name it. Again, pick one that you enjoy and stick it out (the more often someone just sees your face, the closer they will feel toward you).
If you're religiously inclined, you may want to start going to church, mosque, temple, or whatever religion you subscribe to. There, again, you will meet people who share your interests.
Finally, joining professional organizations is very helpful -- not only will you meet people but you will be helping your future career along. There are all kinds of professional organizations, depending on where your interests are. There are organizations for teachers, technical writers, biologists, ecologists, etc. You name it, it's out there.
If you feel you're sabotaging your relationships, there could be a number of reasons for that behavior. It could be that you're drawn toward the wrong kind of friends, or you have some pent up anger from childhood issues (in that case, a little counseling may be beneficial), or any number of things. We really don't have much information to go on here. However, gaining some self confidence (easier said than done) usually helps us to keep from getting angry at others and have more patience. Self confidence can be built, in part, by getting active in hobbies, helping in the community, and taking steps towards our professional development.
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Can I lose 20-25 pounds in less than 10 weeks if I eat healthy, 1200 calories and work out 1 hour everyday. I'm 5'5" and 145 pounds (link)
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It may be better to look at fat loss versus looking at the scale. If you're working out a lot, then you may gain more muscle, which weighs more. More muscle also burns more calories in the long run - and looks better. Running gives a slimmer look. If you don't like running, you might try fast walking and running sprints (about 5 minutes) off and on during the walk. This may build up your stamina for longer runs. Though there has been a lot of controversy about the Atkins diet, this is a diet I used in my 20's and 30's with great results when trying to slim down. I ate a steak or chicken breast (fat cut off) and veggies (usually broccoli) for dinner. I really avoided carbs like breads, but ate a little because we need those grains. I ate dinner, usually, no later than 4:00 pm. I fast walked around a local lake for about 1.5 hours in the evenings and worked out for about 1-2 hours in the gym in the a.m. Gym workouts were usually a mix of step aerobics or body pump, or yoga and weight equipment. If you can join a gym, they can help you measure your fat to muscle ratio.
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