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Back and forth
Sam is 40, Tina is 30, Pat is 38, and Rebecca is 26.
1) Sam is friend with Tina and Pat.
2) Sam was first friends with Rebecca.
3) Sam was nice to Rebecca’s sister and family and
engaged in activities with them. Sam also wanted to help Rebecca when she
Seem to need it.
4) Rebecca seemed independent. So Sam started to slow his help towards her.
She seemed to not want him to help her too much
5) Pat moved in the area and Sam now becomes friend with her. She tries to attach herself to Sam needfully. She has a lot of resources
that can e of use to Sam, Tina, and Rebecca. So he asks her for favor from time to time.
6) Tina was always very close friends with Rebecca. They like to joke a lot with each other.
7) Tina and Sam became close friends after Tina seems to be getting into trouble. Sam tries to help her overcome her shame. Same as he did for Pat.
8) During all of this, Sam has a tension between him and Rebecca, more so from his side.
9) He starts to treat Rebecca very badly.
10) The relationship between Tina and Rebecca starts to go bad. But it’s not from Rebecca’s part. Tina seems more distant and mean towards Rebecca. But Rebecca seems to still like Tina.
11) Sam gives Tina a lot of work to do, yet he starts to slowly distant himself from Pat.
12) Suddenly, Sam is talking up to Rebecca again and giving her compliments’ on her personality.
13) Tina is left with a lot of work to do that Sam gave her. She seems tired at times, but is happy to do them.
14) Who seems to be the best /more mature person ?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I guess Pat.
Sam is controling and rude. Rebecca is seeking attention. and Tina seems to like being told what to do. You dont here to much about Pat other than what Sam seems to think of her.
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I like this site because it gives me an opportunity to give advice to someone.
I don't like to pass judgment on people based on a enumerated lists. I don't think that is helpful.
What is obvious to me is that the person who wrote this question has no respect or admiration for Pat and believes Rebbecca has gotten the short end of the stick. It's clear that the person who wrote this question doesn't know what is going through Sam's mind, and would feel better if they had an honest conversation with Sam about his choices and feelings.
It doesn't really matter who knows who longest. Or who was distant from who at what point in the process.
What matters is what kind of friendship each person would like, and whether or not they are able to ask for it and have honest and respectful conversations.
There is too much unsaid in this question to pass judgments about each persons maturity or 'best-ness' and I suspect there is also too much left unsaid in these friendships.
You don't need an outsiders perspective, you need to open up to those you wish to be friends with and try to create friendships that are built on honesty and respect.
(It might also be helpful for Rebecca to find friends that are closer to her age and life experience. People with more similar life styles to a mid-twenty something are less likely to feel she needs help or saving, and are more likely to be able to build a friendship with her on even ground.)
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