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3 guys..3 situations.
I am 16 years old, and i am kind of stuck...
1) Andrew; he is much much muchhhh older than i am, like...11 years older... has warrants which he is dealing with and it is going in a positive direction. i've liked him for about 2 years, and in august i found out he liked me. we talked, than he got a gf so i stopped talking to him and dated this guy steve. Andrew told me he would wait for me to be of age to date..so we're still talking and things, lately is been slowing down though.and this is a sweetened version of me and him...but he is nice, and funny and makes me happy when we talk.
2)Steve; (my ex boyfriend) we broke up in October/early November. we started talking (as friends) in december after x-mas, and yesterday he told me he missed me and things. and he wants to go bowling on sunday. i said i would go. so we're most likely going to go. But he was a nice boyfriend but he has NO PERSONALITY! but my whole family approved him. and he stopped smoking pot (THANKGOD!) so im thinking maybe he'll be able to show some personality. he is nice, sweet, and caring. btw he is 17. also, i dont like him...but i might if he shows personality, but it deffinitly is not promised.
3) John; mine and my older brother's bestfriend! he is 18 years old. he asked me out in december and i said no because he is my brothers bestfriend and i didnt want to do that. but him and i hangout everyday! and i flirt with him constantly!! a part of me really wants to date him, but some part of me says no, that i dont want too. he has tendencies to be the biggest asshole. Last night he was hanging out with me and than dropped me off my church, he went to his friends house and apparently this girl sam was there. he took her home, had sex with her and brought her home today. than he picked me up from school. i was veryy jealous of it. i am not sexually attracted to him, like i do not want to have sex with him but i kind of want him to be mine.
......so, i understand 100% that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me being single! but, if i could choose one of them that would make me happiest i would like too. i just want to hear everyone's opinion on this, and who you think might be best or if i should continue to look. i am not a trouble maker, and i care about all of them in one way or another. absolutely nothing is promised with Steve, and Andrew is another situatin in his own. and John is my bestfriend and i am scared even if we do date in the end ..we might not be friends. and also, John has the personality of, if he cant get what he wants, he might eventually give up and treat me like shit, and end our friendship.
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Andrew is too old. Both fuctionally and maybe even legally, depending on your state.
You can't be an equal, respected peer with a 27 year old, unless he is horribly immature and fucked up. He sounds lovely, but any 27 year old who would consider a 16 year old a valid rommantic partner is probably not someone you want to be with. You could be perfect and wonderful, and probably are, but if he can't see it's not a good idea, then there is something off about him.
You say you don't like Steve. So there is nothing to talk about. You don't have to date every guy who likes you and is nice. Date people you like and can have mutual respect and fun with. You don't respect him, you don't have fun with him and you don't like him. So notta.
John sounds like a bit of ass and you already know he makes some unwise sexual choices. Having said that, you clearly want seem most interested in him and there is a benifit to going into a relationship with your eyes open to some of your partners flaws and mistakes. Maybe you should ask your brother about? (Of course, if you aren't sexually interested AT ALL - to the point you can't imagine kissing him or anything - then you probably just enjoy the flirting, and get over wanting him for yourself. Not that I'm condoning having sex at 16 - I'm not - but he's not for you if he doesn't excite in you that way at all.)
Keep looking. And please, cool it off with Andrew. I know it's flattering and I know it seems just fine, but as a 26 year old girl myself, I've got to say: Guys my age who think dating 16 year olds is a good idea, are bullies and /or morons. There is something not quite right if they find a relationship with someone who is still in highschool to be thier ideal kind of relationship. If one of my guy friends started to date a 16 year old, I'd encourage him to seek therapy, no matter how mature and lovely I thought she was.
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Okay let's start off with...
Andrew...
Okay so Andrew pretty much from your description reminds me of this guy I use to date who was a bit older than I. We kissed and what have you but it was never really exclusive. People change as they get older and your idea of him will change as you get older. The guy I was seeing was so cute to me when I was younger and now I look at him and say to myself 'what happened?'. I was completely different when I cared for that guy and now my feelings are no longer there. To tell you the truth the reason I probably had feelings for him was because he was good looking and he was older. I could barely ever have a conversation with this guy and thats not a good start to a relationship. I say forget about Andrew and move on!
Up next is Steve!
So you and Steve dated and then broke up because of why? If you find he doesn't have a personality now you will come to find that not even him stopping his pot smoking will make him have a personality. You either like the kid or not. And by what you are saying you don't it looks like the kid is just a back up in case there isn't another guy. Just continue being friends with him and nothing more. As the great Bonnie Rait says 'you can't make your heart feel something it won't'.
And last but not least John!
John is a NO GO! John is your brother's friend. Have you talked to your brother about it? What would your brother do if you guys started dating? I don't know if he would be too happy or not. I had a friend who had an older brother and her friend liked her older brother. She told her friend that she didn't want her dating ehr brother. Well the friend dated the older brother and so the girl stopped being friends with her friend and in the end the relationship didn't work out. The point is it can create tension and it can create difficulty for not only your relaitonship with your brother but the relationship between him and his friend. Don't bother with John!
There are a ton of guys out there and you will find him but for now just enjoy being young and have fun :)
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