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How do I tell her?
I'm in a serious relationship with a girl and have been in a relationship with her for almost a year and a half. Everything is going great, and it's really looking like I could spend my life with this woman. We're both 18, and we spend most of our time together and we almost NEVER fight.
But a few days ago I found out something about myself... Ever since I was old enough to even think about this, I've known that I was heterosexual. But it turns out, I just never bothered to think otherwise. I didn't cheat on my girlfriend, but I saw something that turned me on. So it turns out I'm bisexual(my girlfriend is too), but I don't know how to tell her, especially since there had to be something to trigger my realization.
Does anyone have any advice on how I should tell her?
Thanks,
Anon
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sometimes to talk about something is better to joke abour it..maybe you should go to a gay club and tell her slowly its a 2 way street it would open diffent doors for bouth of you but once there open things might change and will be hard to go backand hope theres no rejections..shes bi u exceot that have a 3some and tell her u curious and see what she says maybe its better for bouth of you better to say what you want then cheat
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Dear Anon,
If you've been in a relationship with her for a year and half then you should comfortable about telling her. I think the thing that is holding you back is the fact that you might be scared. If she's bisexual I'm sure she would understand to. You should just tell her about it and then leave it at that. The whole point in relationships is to except each other no matter what. Your girlfriend loves you because you are you and by you telling her that you're bisexual is not going to change how she thinks or feels about you.
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Personally, I wouldn't go rushing into labelling myself if I were you. You're not actually bisexual: you're bi-curious if anything, since you haven't actually had a chance to test things out. It's normal to change what your leanings are as you get older and experience more. It doesn't mean you have to wear a big label on your forehead and change your whole life around.
As a bisexual person, I have to give you a big warning: being into both sexes doesn't give you a free pass to be unfaithful. If you want to test the waters with guys, you had better clear it with your girlfriend first. If she's not okay with it, then you're going to have to keep it in your pants if you want this relationship to continue.
When it comes to telling her, just let her know that you've been having sexual feelings towards men lately, that you wanted her to know but that it doesn't change the way you feel about her, and that you will only take it as far as she is comfortable with.
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EDIT... because obviously I didn't do a good job the first time around :)
Before you go assuming that I'm some bigot, I'd like to remind you that I am also bisexual, in a same-sex relationship, so I know where you're coming from and would be insulting myself if I was, as you say, attempting to do so without being noticed ;)
When you say that a person isn't their sexuality, that was the point I was trying to get across with my first paragraph: don't let this revelation mix you up too badly, because you're still the same you that you were before.
It's great being bi when you're looking for a partner because it opens things up. When you already have a fantastic partner, it makes life extremely difficult. I never implied that you would cheat: only that it's really really hard (as I know from experience) to give up that other part of you and stay monogamous. I don't know you, but I do know other people who have made discoveries about their sexuality later in life and have messed up their relationships badly because they were driven to dishonesty by their need to experiment and their partners' not being on board.
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She most likely wont be annoyed or bothered by it, being bi herself she obviously wont be against it.
Don't be surprised if she's shocked. I, myself am bisexual and I'd be shocked and possibly confused if my bf told me he was bi. She'll obviously question you, but just be honest.
Think whether you want to stay with her or experiment also.
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