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Help me please, so i dont get "played around with "
Me and this guy have just started talking for like 3 months or so, but just recently weve gotton very close to one another. hes really sweet,he does basically everything a gentleman would do, he was never inappropriate and never crossed his limits.
now the thing is, he just broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago, and i just broke up with my ex boyfriend 5 months ago, we were both really heartbroken, we knew eachother back then but never payed much attention to eachother.I hear stuff about him from his best friend, typical guy things.. i heard he was like kind of over the top in his last relationship (controlling) but then when i come to talk to him, he talks to me about how much hes changed, and learned from alot of mistakes, ive heard things like him making out with this girl , or him flirting with this girl, so i dont really trust him that much.. now you see the thing is that, if were at the movies or in a cafe, hell start teasing me and like poking me , and id poke him back then hed hold my finger, then my other one, then my whole hand, and like intermingle our fingers together, and like the way he does it is SO affectionate, ever since we started talking i havent heard anything about him doing stuff with other girls, but i cant really know if it does or not cause i have no way of finding out. I dont know if hes playing around cause hes bored, or maybe he likes me and is on the rebound.. i dont know if i like him but all i know is that hes an amazing distraction and i think i may be falling for him, its a possibility. But how do i know the difference between him playing with me, or him liking me? if he was playing with me hed go farther, and he never did, i think holding hands is way more passion and affection. but i dont know if i should continue talking to him or not.. i tried moving my hands plenty of times but he just keeps trying (not forceful, but being sneaky about it) hes really nice and never did anything wrong to me,so i dont know if i should beleive what i hear or go with the flow. The way he tries to hold my hand, and like rubs my hands with passion is really cute and i dont really want to lose that.. so what do i do? :/ Im a girl, im 17 and hes 18 , thank youu.
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He most likely likes you but if he is rubing your hand by taking his thumb and rubing it in your palm then he just wants sex. Hope it helps.
Jessie
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men can b hard to understand at any time of life. a lot of women try to understand them just through inturpritting their behaviour and wont talk to the men in their lives wether it b through pried or fear of hurtting those who are dear to them. noone can read mineds so i think that it would b best for u to talk to this guy. people can change but they nead to be given the chance to do it.
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When someone is controlling in their relationship they very rarely ever see it as it being something that was a mistake on their part. To most people like that, it's justified, reasonable and sometimes, their right. None of it's true but in their minds they are not doing anything wrong and he said he's learnt some things etc but this doesn't mean he learnt what he was supposed to (i.e. you can't treat a girlfriend like you own them). Also, bare in mind that most people who are controlling in this way will not show this side of them until much further in a relationship. Before this, it all comes down to courting and impressing and this may well be what he is doing at the moment - trying to be the perfect gentleman.
You said you don't trust him so you obviously get some kind of bad vibe from him so for the most part I would say go with your instincts and be cautious. Obviously if you want to see where and how this goes then go for it but just keep your wits about you in the process. As for the rebound thing, the best way around that is to simply take things slow and not let him change that pace. Take it slow and eventually and hopefully you may see what his intentions are and also discover your own too because you have to bare in mind that you also came out of a relationship so you may well also be vulnerable and just looking for that someone to cling and hold on to for support.
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If you don't trust him, I'd go with your gut feeling on that one.
It's hard to tell seeing I don't know the guy but I would take it slow whatever you decide to do as you don't want to get caught up with a master manipulator never mind someone who is out to control you. Controlling people are not only manipulative but if they know they can get away with it it could lead to violence. My advice......I'd go with how you really feel but take it slow and play it safe. If he turns out the way others said he was then I would take it as a flag and move on.
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