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We are a couple that is needing different points of views
We have been together for a year and a half. I caught him with a tagged account which had numerous conversations where he was flirting with girls. We talked everything over, and he explained that he was not trying to get with the girls. Because I had danced with a guy at a party we went to, he decided to start getting on the website to make himself feel better. To uplift his self esteem. Another reason why he explains he did it was because I always accuse him of wanting sex every time he kisses or touches me. Anyway. He promised to stop with the talking online. Just recently I happened to find another account on Google plus, where he was writing comments on girl's pictures. Initiating that he wanted to talk to them. He says that they never responded to him. They are girls from different states. They are famous (I don't recognize any of them) and he did not do it to cheat or get with them. He understands that I didn't do anything wrong, and that it was wrong for him to do it.He says I push him away when he comes and sees me too much.This hurts him. He says he's had many chances to cheat but he hasn't. He has not cheated on me with girls in real life. He doesn't cheat. Just because he loves me too much and I'm his first love everything that I do hurts him. The online thing is his escape. He feels he can drop it. He did it so it would make him feel good every time he felt like I was going to leave him.He says I'm the only person that can actually make him happy. I think this is very contradictory because if I were, he would not be on there. My plan is to break everything off. I feel disrespected. I feel like I'm not good enough for him and that is the main reason why he did this. Not once, but twice. I count this as cheating. I don't know how else you guys see it. I think it's time to end the whole relationship. I don't even want to try because I feel like he is going to find better ways to keep on with his ways. I think he just needs to find someone that can make him feel happy, and that person is obviously is not me. He says he loves me and that he wants to work things out and to help him change, but I don't think he can change. I just want out.
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I would agree with you, I think even if he hasn't cheated on you in real life the way he his acting is unacceptable. You have obviously thought this through a lot and I think you have come to the right decision. It's not fair of him to blame you and to say that you are forcing him to do these things because you're not! He needs to sort himself out and you need to be with someone who will treat you right
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If don't have faith in him, can no longer trust him and want out, then there is really no point of view that matters much. If you are done, you are done. Doesn't matter why. Doesn't matter if this is 'really cheating' or not. If you are finished in this relationship, then you are finished.
And I'd agree with you, not so much because of the behaviour online itself, but because of how he has responded to it: A man who blames you, repeatedly, for his dishonesty, who pretends that if only you behaved perfectly he wouldn't go trolling online for female affection, is not someone who is capable of taking responsibility for their own emotions and behaviour and being a good partner.
I wouldn't necessarily call it cheating, but it is a form of dishonesty and betrayal that he does not seem interested in stopping.
He probably can change, but you don't seem interested in waiting around for that or risking that he doesn't - and that's okay. You don't have too.
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