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Spending Christmas Alone :( Complicated family situation. Can anyone help?
Okay, here's the scoop. I'm heartbroken right now. I'm EXTREMELY close to all of niece and nephews. If you want even more details there are 5 of them. Anyway over the weekend, I brought 3 of them home with me (they live 50+ miles). Anyways, I do this just about every weekend just because I miss them so much and love to spend time with them. Lately though my oldest nephew who is twelve and really hurt me this weekend. He wasn't appreciative of anything I did for him, and did nothing but complain. I made him eggs, toast, and sausage. He was mad there was no cheese in the eggs, and then when we went to see a Christmas light display all he did was fight with his other brothers who were in the car with me, and complained he wanted to leave. Mind you this was very expensive (8 bucks for 10 minutes but I wanted to do it). And then we went home and he called me a pizza face (I have a small complexion problem). I asked him why he was treating me this way, and was crying my eyes out in the process. He had no reason and just went into the bedroom, slammed the door and then went to bed.
Anyways, I brought it up to my sister and she defended it with that he's a child, and he has ADD. I have ADD as well and I've never in my life treated anyone like that. Well then the conversation escalated and she said there will be no Christmas, she's not bringing them over and I'm no longer allowed to see my niece and nephews. :((!! I don't know how it came down to this. I love all of them so much. I just think I deserve to be treated better then this. My parents are now telling me I need to apologize to my sister (saying I should have never brought it up. I'm seriously heartbroken now. I love those kids so much, and would do anything for them. I'm not sure if something is going on with him or what. Please help me!
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First off I have ADD and that is no excuse for a child to act that way and it shouldn't be tolerated. If he is going to acting difficult there must be consequences and he must be punished. It's not acceptable for a boy who is close to being a teenager to act like that. I'm sure he doesn't hate you he's probably getting into that teenage phase where they can be difficult. I think you should come up with a system of when he's with you if he's going to act up then he needs to be punished. Of course you're their aunt but they should know when they are with you they treat you the same as they would with mom and dad.
I can see where your concern is with the child, however maybe to your sister you came off as telling her how to raise the child. The child to me sounds more like he has ADHD rather than ADD. People with ADD are on all parts of the spectrum I happen to be very mellow where as something else could be off the walls with hyperactivity. There is no reason why your sister should have threatened to take Christmas away from you. I think because of the holidays you should try to speak to your sister and tell her that you apologize for coming on to strong and that you didn't mean any harm. Maybe say to her I want to have a suggestion as to what I should do if the child acts up. Please don't let ADD be the excuse that the child doesn't get punished there's no reason for a child to act that way. If your sister continues to be difficult I would try to go spend Christmas with your parents or maybe some friends. I hope everything works out and Happy Holidays!
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