|
I have a big decision to make..
To start this off, I'm a 16, almost 17, y/o girl. For more than a year now I've been on and off with a guy who is 18 right now. We're very close but, honestly, he is not the smartest person. We argue a lot because of it. He's threatened to kill me face to face one time because at a time when we weren't dating, I had sex with someone he knew. He was on probation over the summer because he has a problem with smoking weed. Don't get me wrong, I've smoked a lot with him before. BUT he was being drug tested and he promised me that we would both stop smoking together. He broke that promise and lied to me about it. I kept it. I'm not going to keep rambling on,
so to sum it up, I do feel a lot for him. That only might be because of how much we had sex or how much we were alike though. I really don't know. I really want him and can't let go. It makes me cry.
A few nights ago I started dating another guy. A really nice, shy type of guy. I thought it was great... a way to escape the one before. But it just isn't the same. I'm tearing up right now because I feel like I don't want this relationship... I want my baby.. my love back.
But I don't even know if it was love.. I don't know. Everyone calls me stupid and all my friends hate him because they know what he does to me.
My dad doesn't even know I still talk to him. I got in trouble a year ago with him and I'm not even supposed to be talking to him. But I have been anyway. And I hate lying but I just crave him..
I don't know if anyone cares enough to read this, but I just wanted to get this out there. Please, what am I supposed to do?
I don't want to be known as stupid... Why do I want him so much? After everything. Thanks in advance.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
girl i been in your situation not exactly like it but i once had to fight for someone i loved and thanks to me for standing strong cause i been with him now since 2008. I was not willing to let him go if ya both have love for eachother fight for it because none of my parents wanted me with him i was 16 then and now im 19 and hes 24 and even if nobody wanted me with him and my freinds either i still went to go see him and talk to him cus is only you and him that know what ya about nobody else does. But if hes threatning you thats a no no. Nobody should ever put a hand on you and if hes willing to work on it and stand strong to then i congratulate him but if walks out on you or doesnt meet u halfway then think bout it is he worth it?
]
You want him because you've never really had him - not really.
On and off again for a year - plus parents and probation separating you - this relationship has played out in your mind like Romeo and Juliet. It's mostly fantasy and storytelling, not life. A relationship that 'never really was' is the hardest to get over, because the fantasy goes on and on.
You know this guy is not only dim, but a liar with a violent streak. It's unlikely you love him - maybe you don't even like him much - but you are hopeless infatuated with the person you thought he was in the first few weeks you knew him.
That person doesn't exist. Never did. But they are hard to give up. The story keeps on going, even though its just a story.
So just stop. Stop talking. Stop texting. Stop.
You wont be able to let the fantasy in your mind go, until you stop exposing yourself to the guy who brings it on.
If the new relationship doesn't feel right, end it too...
]
Sometimes we want what we can't have and that makes it something that we continue to crave.
I was in a relationship with a guy and I don't it was so much the guy I liked but rather the attention I was getting from him.
This guy isn't right for you, and you know it. He's something that you may want (as in you may want a boyfriend) but he's the guy you need.
You said he:
Threatened you
He's got a drug problem
Lied to you
Is that the type of boyfriend you want? Someone who treats you like that? That isn't right of him and it's not fair. You don't deserved to be treated like that you deserve someone who is going to treat you right and make you feel good about yourself. I was always told no man is worth your tears until you find the one that won't make you cry. Having your life threatened is VERY serious and isn't something to take lightly.
Right now the best idea for you is to stay single and move on from this guy. Think about all the bad qualities and think to yourself does he bring anything to the table? Does he make you feel like you want to be a better person?
Believe me, you aren't going to change who he is I know you want to but you won't. I've been there, there was a guy I really liked and he had that 'bad boy' image. I knew who he really was, and I tried so desperately to try and show everyone who he really was. My family couldn't stand him and my friends all highly disliked him. I tried everything in my power to make this guy happy and in the end it didn't work. Lesson learned you can't change anyone but yourself. It maybe hard to move on and I'm not saying you're going to move on quick but its time that you do because his behavior won't change. The only change you can make is on you!
]
More Questions: |