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what is this guy thinking ? its pissing me off/annoying me/getting me all c
22/f
I was head over heels for this guy and friends with him for about a year (we met in college, im in my sr year and he started 1st year at law). I was getting out of a slew of bad relationships and i came on kind of strong sexually (extremely out of character) so i gave him the wrong idea. he was kind though and did help me with lots of personal issues, and then when it got fixed he and i started flirting more and he wanted to hook up and i did too but i held him off for a year (tons of excuses) we ended up making out a year later and fooling a bit and really brief sex (i wanted to stop) he's not a jerk i promise. then i confessed that i liked him emotionally a few months later and he told me that i was a very attractive, extremely sweet/smart girl but i could get a little crazy sometimes so he didn't feel we were compatible (crazy b/c i had an anxiety attack in the beginning of our friendship, a personal issue that he was there for me for)
so i said OK sweetly, he did have a legit point, and he said that if i had emotional feelings for him we couldn't fool around again. i said ok. we still talked, a month or two went by, he started dating this girl out of the blue and i didn't know and i saw on fbk that they were now in a relationship. my heart was broken but we were on good terms so i told him i was happy for him. he was cool with it. then a month went by and we didn' really speak (im not one to interfere) and then on halloween we went to the same concert he saw me (my friend saw all this) from a distance and he stared at me and i walked away bc i was on the phone i didnt notice this. then the next day i saw that he blocked me on facebook. we never had a fight or nothing. very strange. i was upset but i still never contacted him im not one to interfere. then exactly a month later he called my phone but i didnt pick up b/c i missed the call. i texted and said 'how are you havent talked in awhile so i wasnt sure if it was a misdial anyway gl on finals" and then he didn't respond. hes still w/ his gf so idk
why did he call me...
im heartbroken.ive never been treated properly by guys and i understood why each time, and this is the first time i've liked a guy this much. but im not the kind of girl to interfere in relationships so i wont go there. he's not a cheater either i know this about him. just confused.
im sorry this is so long. if one person reads this and answers this i'll be so happy and grateful.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To start it off, you must understand, this guy is using you. When he isn't attached, he turns to you. Basically, he just views you as a backup friend and someone he can turn to for cheap sex with no strings.
I know you think I'm being harsh and cruel, but this is the mentality of some men. If he was really as nice as he seems to be, would he have blocked you on Facebook or replied so rudely when you told him about a personal problem?
However, I can see that he is rather genuine and kind when the mood takes him.
You need to think about this person very carefully. I believe that you are mature enough to make decisions on your own. Do you want to be friends with a two-faced person? Moreover, you mentioned that you like him. This complicates this a lot more.
You can take some time to consider all your options carefully. I hope this advice helped.
God Bless :)
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You might not get to know why he called you.
You've got no right to that knowledge.
Fundementally, this guy wasn't all that into you and there is no reason to think he's more into you now than he was before and lots of reasons (like, he has a girlfriend) to think he still isn't that into you.
Look, although it hurts and is disappointing when someone chooses another person as their romantic partner, from what you've described here this guy DID treat you properly.
He was honest with you about what he wanted, and when he realized that what he wanted was different than what you wanted, he stop fooling around with you.
That was responsible and polite of him. Lots of guys would have strung you on for fun. He was respectful. He was honest. He felt you two weren't compatible and he said so.
He might want to be your friend. But it's pretty clear from your question here that you are NOT ready to be friends. You still feel way too much, way too deeply. So you aren't equipped to be a good respectful friend. You need more time and space from him before that is possible.
So keep on doing what you are doing - butt out. If he contacts you again, give him the same honesty and respect that he gave you: Tell him although you'd like to be friends and think he's great, your romantic feelings make that impossible right now.
It's okay to wonder, be curious and distracted by this, but you need to take a deep breath and let it go.
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See this is a great example of hwo guys can be weird and confusing. He just saw you as a friend thats what it sounds like and because emotions and feelings were involved he couldn't handle it. He might have called you the other day to see how you were or he needed to borrow a cup of sugar. Who really knows. I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you, you should try to move on and see what else is out there. I was in a situation like this and it turned out the same. The guy would always wonder what was going on with me and never wanted to talk or anything. It's almost as if I were a disease that he was trying to avoid. I later on accepted and moved on. I don't need someone in my life who is going to treat me like that and I learned that theres a lot more fish in the sea.
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