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December 20, 2011Answers:
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Hey there, I'm Luciana. I love helping people, (Which is why I became a doctor.) and if you have a problem, just send me a message, and I'll be happy to help. :)
advice
22/f
I was head over heels for this guy and friends with him for about a year (we met in college, im in my sr year and he started 1st year at law). I was getting out of a slew of bad relationships and i came on kind of strong sexually (extremely out of character) so i gave him the wrong idea. he was kind though and did help me with lots of personal issues, and then when it got fixed he and i started flirting more and he wanted to hook up and i did too but i held him off for a year (tons of excuses) we ended up making out a year later and fooling a bit and really brief sex (i wanted to stop) he's not a jerk i promise. then i confessed that i liked him emotionally a few months later and he told me that i was a very attractive, extremely sweet/smart girl but i could get a little crazy sometimes so he didn't feel we were compatible (crazy b/c i had an anxiety attack in the beginning of our friendship, a personal issue that he was there for me for)
so i said OK sweetly, he did have a legit point, and he said that if i had emotional feelings for him we couldn't fool around again. i said ok. we still talked, a month or two went by, he started dating this girl out of the blue and i didn't know and i saw on fbk that they were now in a relationship. my heart was broken but we were on good terms so i told him i was happy for him. he was cool with it. then a month went by and we didn' really speak (im not one to interfere) and then on halloween we went to the same concert he saw me (my friend saw all this) from a distance and he stared at me and i walked away bc i was on the phone i didnt notice this. then the next day i saw that he blocked me on facebook. we never had a fight or nothing. very strange. i was upset but i still never contacted him im not one to interfere. then exactly a month later he called my phone but i didnt pick up b/c i missed the call. i texted and said 'how are you havent talked in awhile so i wasnt sure if it was a misdial anyway gl on finals" and then he didn't respond. hes still w/ his gf so idk
why did he call me...
im heartbroken.ive never been treated properly by guys and i understood why each time, and this is the first time i've liked a guy this much. but im not the kind of girl to interfere in relationships so i wont go there. he's not a cheater either i know this about him. just confused.
im sorry this is so long. if one person reads this and answers this i'll be so happy and grateful.
To start it off, you must understand, this guy is using you. When he isn't attached, he turns to you. Basically, he just views you as a backup friend and someone he can turn to for cheap sex with no strings.
I know you think I'm being harsh and cruel, but this is the mentality of some men. If he was really as nice as he seems to be, would he have blocked you on Facebook or replied so rudely when you told him about a personal problem?
However, I can see that he is rather genuine and kind when the mood takes him.
You need to think about this person very carefully. I believe that you are mature enough to make decisions on your own. Do you want to be friends with a two-faced person? Moreover, you mentioned that you like him. This complicates this a lot more.
You can take some time to consider all your options carefully. I hope this advice helped.
God Bless :)
Hey there. I'm writing here bc im in need of advice. I'm turning 21 next month. Female. Ever since I can remember, my mom has been extremely involved. She has really pushed me bc she's wanted to know everything about my life. I've let her in, maybe too much. It has gotten to a point where she's very controlling and when she doesn't get her way, she gets extremely upset. Last year, I dyed my hair dark brown. I'm naturally a light brown. But when I was about 17, he insisted that I go blonde. I listened to her and i never questioned the way I look. But, looking back, I really don't like myself as much with blonde hair. I like my natural color or even a little darker. I look relatively young. I'm very petite and i have a very youthful looking face. I don't really drink a lot, I don't smoke and perhaps that has contributed to the fact that i look younger compared to a lot of people around me. Everywhere I go, people always ask me how old I am and swear that I look so young. It gets REALLY old when u hear it EVERY day. When my hair was brown, it made me look a little bit older and I wasn't being asked every single day about my age. I went back to brown last month and she told me if I didnt dye it at least a dark blonde she would never speak to me again. She was crying, throwing things, and having a tantrum. I dyed it to dark blonde so she would stop. But needless to say, I'm constantly being asked my age again and getting gasps. Nice, but old! Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with looking young. But, I'm 21. I want to feel sexy. I want to feel like a woman. Last year, I also had extensions. I needed them for a while, but they were on way 2 long. I recently took them off and now my mom won't let me leave the house without clip ins. It just makes me want to cry. You may say fight with her and let her have a tantrum. But, u don't know how she gets. She is out of control. She is scary. I want to have my hair brown for my birthday which is next month. And i don't want any extensions. I hate them. They hurt and they bother me. She doesn't understand anything. When I tell her I like my hair dark she says that if I change back to dark, she will cut herself and enroll herself in a mental institution. You have no idea what I put up with every day. Our relationship has improved so much. I don't want to ruin it. But, if I don't have my own independence to do what I want to my own hair at 21, what is next?
Hello there. I think your mum started out with the intention of making you happy and keeping you safe. Call me cliched, but that's what every parent wants. However, I think her concern has become obsessuve-neurotic control.
My suggestion, especially since you mentioned that your relationship is particularly good now, is to sit down and speak to her openly.
Listen to her thoughts on why she suggests the way she does. Then explain your feelings in what we call the 'sandwich' method. Compliment her first, tell jet you appreciate the fact that she takes time to give you advice and help you with your problems.
Then go on by delicately and tactfully explaining why you sometimes you would like to make your own decisions. Tell her that you understand that whatever she tells you is in your best interest. Open communication is vital. Listen and understand what your mother tells you. Finish off by emphasizing that you appreciate her and that you love her.
I'd really love to know if this helped. I wish you all the best. God bless :)
my name is niya and m sick n tired of people calling me with the same name again and and again ! so i want some emo n dark name give me some idea what shoud i ude for my nick name?
Hello there. Niya is a beautiful name. Just look at mine. Bit if you want an emo name I would suggest something edgy, like Moonflower or Cadence.
Hope this helps. :)
I have an almost 5 year old. His father has been paying child support 18 dollars a week for maybe 6 months or less. Hes never given him anything except last year school clothes and this year he sent some christmas gifts never a birthday card. I had tried giving him chances alot in the begining when my son started feeling depressed or ask why doesnt my dad call me back i told him he had one last chance if he screwed it up he was done. he cant just keeping coming in and leaving his kids live. 3 years ago i moved 14 hours away i was a minor at the time and had no choice in the matter at that time he quit seeing his son again i gave him the option to meet us and say good bye he blew it off he is not on the birth certificate because the week before i gave birth to my son he told me it was my dads kids not his. I want to change my sons name which is my maiden name to my married name is there any way to do this with out his permission
Hey there, just go to the nearest government office in your neighbourhood with your child's birth certificate and ask for his name to be changed by deed poll. And him not paying maintenance is simply unacceptable. You must lodge a complaint, and ensure he pays for his child. I know you may hate being told what to do, but this is for your child's future. I'd love to hear whether this advice helped. God bless. :)