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Over protective father.
Hi.
I'm 18 years old and iv been with my boyfriend for a year and still my dad is really protective of me. I want to be able to have my boyfriend stay over and for me to stay with him but I know my dad wont allow it. How do I get round this and get him to let me? I don't want to go behind his back. Please help.
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I don't have an answer that will help you convince your dad to let your boyfriend stay over. I might be able to help you understand why he is this way.
First you need to understand one thing about us dads. Our sons will always be our sons but one day they will grow in to young men. Our daughters, well they are another story. Our daughters are always going to be our little girls; even when they are grown women and have children of their own. Dads expect their daughters to always need their dads and we will always be their for them, unfortunately, for them, we always see them as our little girls.
So this is what you are faced with from the start, from the day you were born. Most fathers if they had their way would not allow their daughters to date until they were 30 and in some cultures even today the daughter does not date,or chose her mate. Her father chooses her husband for her. She may not even meet her husband until the wedding night.
You're 18, legally an adult though you still live at home. Even though you are an adult you live at home and house rules still apply. If you were away at school the dorm rules may be that members of the opposite sex must leave by a certain hour. So dads rules that your boyfriend cannot spend the night are not much different than most dorm rules unless you lived in a coed dorm Which is a whole different issue.
I understand your point that you are an adult now and you should be allowed a certain amount of shall we say freedom of choice. That choice may or could include a sex life if you chose to have one. But in just about everything we do there are rules.
There are rules at work, school and rules of the road just to mention a few. So as long as you live at home there will be certain rules that you must abide by. Some rules are worth appealing now that you are of adult age. Parents some times forget or don't want to see their children grow up and they have to remind us they are older now and need more freedom. But still there will be rules that cannot be appealed, this is one of them.
If you want to continue to have your fathers trust and the ability to appeal some of the other constrictions of your youth I would not go behind his back on this one. As parents we always find out when our children hide things from us.
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Dads are always going to be protective of their daughters. Don't ask me why... but I just know that they don't want anything bad to happen to their baby girl.
Even though you are 18, that doesn't justify that you can do whatever the hell you want. If you're still living under their roof, then its a good idea to live under their rules too. I know it sucks, but its not the end of the world. My parents would never have allowed my ex to sleep over, but his mom always welcomed me to spend the night there.
You can try talking to your dad about it, but my best guess is that even by putting on your sad puppy face he will say no.
the only way to get around it is by sneaking him in when your dad is asleep. I did that a few times and we just slept in the basement. But the only bad part is that if your dad wakes up and sees. it wasn't as fun when my ex did it because literally every 5 minutes we were freaking out because we thought we heard him upstairs haha.
After you move out of the house, you can live by your own rules :)
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