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My ex-boyfriend is making my friends have to pick.
So a year ago almost to the day my boyfriend of one year who was also my best friend of four years and I broke up. We had all the same friends and at first we just avoided each other. Well he dumped me and I got over it and got a new boyfriend (who I am no longer with) But every time I go to parties and he's there he tells our friends to make me leave, so I have to leave, and if I call ahead and he finds out I am coming he makes one of his friends call and say I can't come. So basically every time my friends have a get together the ones that are more his friends than mine make it so I can't come, and the ones that are more mine than his just ditch me. So I sit at home feeling upset I couldn't go. Why is he doing this? He has no feelings for me whatsoever and I feel like it's been over a year so why would he still be angry? I've never told any of his secrets or spoke badly of him. I've tried talking to him, and getting our friends to see why this is happening. But I am really sick of feeling this way and not being able to be around all my friends. Someone please help....
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Unless you really knifed the dude in the back your boyfriend has anger issues and is showing a really petty, vindictive side to his personality that should make you glad you guys split up. Imagine being married to someone with that mindset? Yikes!
Your "friends" are a bunch of freaking cowards. What, does the guy have naked pictures of them in compromising positions so that they are more or less being coerced into ostracizing you?
One thing to note: When y'all graduate high school, everyone scatters to the four winds. This is why whatever happens in high school doesn't mean jack in the big scheme of things. So my advice to you is to start shining on your "friends" and find another social group to hang out with. You deserve better. Relax and don't get snared in the bullshit drama.
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Your ex boyfriend is being very childish and a bit selfish as well. I can understand a break up can be hard but he's making a little bit harder by actnig like this. Your mutual friends shouldn't be acting this way either and its not fair that you're missing out on things because of his behavior.
My first boyfriend and I had a rough patch after our break-up. We didn't really speak but a whole bunch of drama went down. Of course it was awkward for a few years because he would always make a big deal about being in the same place or hanging around the same people. It wasn't until a year or two ago that we came to an agreement. We don't have to love each other we should just be civil to one another. What's the point in fighting? And there's a lot of negative energy thats going on trying to ignore on another we should just be civil. And we are. He's not my best friend but we talk and its much more of a positive situation than what it was before.
Is there anyway for you to call him and come to an agreement or something? Try talking to him and telling him whats going on. If he isn't responsive I would talk to your mutual friends and get their in take on it. If you can't get an answer from anyone I would just move on and maybe find a new group of friends to hang out with.
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Sounds like you need better friends, they shouldn't be ditching you all the time. It's alright to choose him over you sometimes, but all the time? no.
You're ex sounds really immature, & has a lot of growing up to do. He either still has feelings for you. Or he's a major dick.
Talk to him and ask him straight up,why he is doing that. Also, you could talk to your friends about it to..see what they have to say?
goodluckk!
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You need to sit down and talk with you friends, You have the right to be somewhere just like everyone else does. This guy has no right to control you or your friends nor can he MAKE you leave. If you don't want to leave, Then don't.
My honest opinion? Your ex is controlling and immature and I can almost promise you that as long as he continues to try and control people he won't have friends for very long. If your friends continue to treat you poorly because your ex insist that they do then these aren't real friends.
Maybe your friends don't realize how they are treating you? Seriously, I would sit them down and talk to them in a mature calm manner and let them know how it makes you feel. If the choose to be ignorant then it's their loss. You move on and make new friends but again like I said....He can't MAKE you do anything as he does no control you.
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