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Trust Issues.. I'm loosing it :(
Ahh I need advice xD. So, I'm in a little dilemma with my boyfriend. We have a lot of trust in our relationship but last night I feel as though it was diminished quite a bit, off of just a misunderstanding. ( a pointless one at that,truly, I'm losing my mind over here!)
(This is going to take a lot to explain, but please read, I just need some feedback and you guys are awesome)
Anywho, my boyfriend and I were hanging out and I went to check my facebook- when our friend Steve messaged me. Steve often messages me these pointless stoner-like things, and me, being a friendly person, will usually just be random have a stupid conversation. This has been happening for months, but I've never been flirty in ANY way nor have I talked to Steve outside of the "facebook messaging realm".
Now in my boyfriends eyes, Steve has a history of "trying to steal his girlfriends". He's told me in the past Steve either took his girl or got them to be uninterested in him every time. Of course I knew this, but was I really in the wrong for just conversing with Steve? Steve is still a friend of mine, but I'd never see him in that way, and I'm not that ditsy of a chick to fall for any of whatever this kid would even try to pull.
And so,
Once my boyfriend saw that I've been talking (if you could even call it THAT) to Steve, he completely blew it out of proportion. He acted as though I was cheating on him, or two-timing him in some way. He dished out that I never told him Steve was messaging me, and said I lied to him, and overall made me feel really bad. And urged me not to talk to him anymore.
Honestly, I don't give a fuck if I talk to Steve, but the whole point is now I'm stuck with a huge slash of guilt and distrust from this miniscule little incident. And I'm loosing my mind as to HOW to make it better, and if I'm even in the fault! Or what to even say to him about it now!
I told him I was sorry, and that I wouldn't message Steve back anymore, but really, I feel like I'm sounding like that typical crazy girlfriend with this. Granted,I can totally see where he was coming from- if he was talking to one of my friends for months I'd be pissed off as well. Also the history of Steve adds a toll. I just have never been in this situation :/.. any form of advice as to what to do next or what I can say would really help! Thanks so much!
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To be honest, you didnt really take your boyfriends feelings into consideration (which you should have)Since your boyfriend feels so strongly about this issue, you have 2 basic opptions, either you lose him and continue talking to Steve or you stop talking to Steve and keep your boyfriend. I would go with the latter of the options, apoilogize to your boyfriend and try to earn his trust back. Best Of Luck
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Listen kiddo, you disregarded your boyfriend's feelings about this issue. And what is especially aggravating to your man is that he thinks you're an attention whore since it doesn't seem like attention just from him is enough for you. And, to be frank, I would read you the riot act and then tell you to take a hike if you didn't comply.
So here is your choice: you can have either the conversations with Steve or keep your current boyfriend but you can't have both. So choose one or the other. And whoever is on the losing end completely ignore them once you tell them to get lost.
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Point blank your boyfriend has a problem with this kid. Instead of confronting the kid about it he's projecting his anger on you. You need to talk to him and tell him that there is nothing going on with this kid and that he needs to trust you. Trust is a BIG part of a relationship. Without it there's really no point to a relationship.
When my ex and I were dating, there was this guy I use to hang out with. Now my ex would be very jealous if I ever hung out with this guy. We got into a huge argument and my ex was saying that he didn't want me to see him ever again. I told him that he's crazy if he thought I was going to listen to him. I told him that if he trusted me he would let me do whatever I wanted. I wasn't planning on cheating on him and I've never cheated any of my boyfriends.
Try talking to him calmly don't raise your voice or blame him. Tell him your sorry and that you don't want this to affect your relationship. Good luck!
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For starters don't be too hard on John because i wouldn't blame him for being worried that yet another girl is gonna get screwed over because of steve. step one is stop talking to steve even if your not that much. because obviously this steve guy is sketchy and only wants to hurt John. Then try to make your boyfriend john realize that he is the only one that you want. no matter what steve tries to do it's you and him against the world.
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