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Freeloading Roommate is causing me to be stressed and become depressed and sick also.
I agreed to help a friend out who is sick and has no job and no home and who is waiting on S.S. disability by allowing her and her dog to live in my home. I thought it would be a short term thing, but I'm starting to think it will never end. She was denied SS disability and is now in the appeals process. Its been 10 months. She has not paid me anything. She sleeps all day. She does do her own dishes, but thats about it. I work 10 hrs/day, 6 days/wk and take college courses and am getting very stressed at her unwillingness to do anything around the house. I am at the point where I am ready to ask her to move out, but I know she has no where to go. Everythime I've asked her to help around the house, she complains about how bad it hurts her. I feel like the bad person, but this is causing me to be stressed and become depressed and sick also. What do I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First of let me say you are a great friend for allowing her to stay with you and for helping her out. That shows how great of a person you are and how you really care for your friend. I think at this point its best to let her know that she needs to find somewhere else to go. Maybe she can live with her family or maybe find out another plan. It's great that you are helping her out, but its another thing when you yourself are getting stressed, depressed, and sick. You should never risk your own health or well ebing for anyone else. I know she is a friend but if you are going to allow her to stay there needs to be guidelines to follow or she needs to find another place to staty.
The guidelines might include:
Helping around the house (cleaning, chores, etc)
Trying to find a part time job so she can bring a little income in
Start looking for somewhere to live
I would remind her that this is temporary and that she should find a place to stay. I'm not saying kick her out but let her know that she can't depend on you to take care of her. Come up with a day where she needs to move out or maybe come up with a schedule where instead of sleeping she is looking for a part time job or even looking for an apt or maybe moving in with a fmaily memeber. Good luck!
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You are not a bad person, You've given her more then enough time to get herself together and she refuses to even try and help herself. We can only lend a helping hand so far before it just no longer gets anywhere. I would sit down and have a talk with her and if you have to give her a month notice. Tell her you have no choice but to have her move out and you are giving her a 30 day notice to find somewhere else to go. You work, You go to college and I believe you have been more then fair in this situation. Sometimes we just can't help everyone, If she has family or other friends then tell her to make arrangements.
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