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Touching myself... but I stop before I orgasm and I don't know why I do this to myself!
Hey I am 18/F
Well I haven't been a virgin since I was fourteen, I've had about three sexual partners all close boyfriends, I've been checked for stds and I am clean, I've been single for a while now so I've started to experiment with just myself, I've never had an orgasm before, I've had to fake it, sex never even felt especially good, sometimes it did, but not really. Well, I've been touching myself lately, and sometimes it feels really good but in a strange way, I like how it feels but for some reason I just have to stop like it's too much, I've tried to overcome it but I can't, sometimes I get really close and I feel like I am going to orgasm, but then I just pull my hand away and I can't understand why, is there any reason why? And if so is there a way to overcome this and reach my goal?
tips would be appreciated!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
You might want to try relaxing, it may just be because it's something new and you might have to get used to it, maybe set a goal, every time you do it try and reach a certain time limit without stopping add a minute or two every time.
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First of all I am not going to judge the age of losing your virginity, every girl is different regardless of laws in the world because all girls develop differently at different ages.
Relax for a start, I had the same problem. Sex with my ex was great but it wasn't until I met my current boyfriend when I was over 19 years old did I have my first full orgasm and I agree with you on the feeling. I have lost count how many times I pushed my boyfriend away or off me and let me tell you that is quite something as he is 14 years older than me and I am only little.
I guess part of the reason I had my reservations was because I thought 'what if I am one of those girls who make a mess?' And I really wished that I could go all the way solo just to prove that I didn't.
For me, I overcame my anxiety because my partner understood and we had a connection. I just had to trust him and let the feeling take over because it wasn't like there was anyone else to judge me.
It is a good feeling when you do, I guess as you are on your own you will just have to tell yourself that it is going to be ok, play something that will relax you or get you in the mood on your ipod or whatever.
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Having Sex at 14 wasn't a good decision you made sweetie. At that age all the way up to now, it is clear you were not mature or ready. That is one of the things that people have to realize.Your first time should feel special and you should be ready. I think you should put a hold on sex for a while until you are completely ready. In a way, you are still a virgin. You never had a orgasm and have not yet felt that feeling. It can be extremely powerful and makes you feel emotionally attached to that person. I am assuming you have not felt emotionally attached. With those emotions comes us women feeling crazy after the huge breakup or blowout or pain. That's why you HAVE to be ready and mature for this.
Now for this orgasm issue...is it painful and you just stop? If not then maybe you are overwhelmed... I haven't heard a case like this but maybe you're nervous of feeling that. Or again, you should give it time. You are 18 and that's ok if you don't have sex for an amount of time. I'd give yourself 21...it's the age where you are REALLY legal to drink,be mature,party etc. Just promise me you'll be responsible. Have you tried asking your mother about this? Does she know you have had sex? If you don't want to tell her about those details that is fine. But maybe try talking to her about this...masturbation issue? No?
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Well, I'm a guy but I have a similar story. I'm 16, I started at about 12. I know it works differently, but in the early stages I would stop before it got too intense. I think its because I wasn't used to the sensation yet, and it was a whole new feeling. Eventually stopping wasn't so good anymore, so I started to go all the way. By now I am used to it. Sadly, it doesn't feel and last as long as it did back then. I think if you continue, you'll eventually reach it. Its like a beginning stage, I guess
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