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Did I make the right decision of rejecting him just because i'm not ready?
I dated the perfect guy a while back but had to let him go cause i'm not ready for a serious relationship. Of course he did what he had to do and moved on, so now he has a girlfriend. For some reason, we started hanging out again "as friends" but lately I felt like we both still have feelings for each other. We'd see each other 3 times a week, hang out at his apt alone, take me to dinner and flirt non stop. This has been going on for three months now. He asked me if he should break up with his girlfriend.. I told him no, because I know i'm still not ready so he is better off with her. Now he won't talk to me!! :( What the heck did I do? Why did he stop talking to me? Did I make the right decision of telling him to stay with her because i'm not ready, even though i know deep inside I wanna be with him? What should I do? And technically, we didn't cheat did we? cuz we aren't hooking up with each other!!
Thanks guys!
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I think he was veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery wrong. He's just being a jerk, and as somebody said before, he crossed all the lines. I would never do that to a girl. I totally agree that you didn't do anything. He obviously doesn't care about his so called "girlfriend" because he offered to let her go for you. disgusting.
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You did the right thing. You told him the truth.
He ALSO did the right thing. He ended your friendship which was completely inappropriate and had crossed all the lines.
Things couldn't continue the way they had been between you two. He had to dump one of you.
You told him to dump you, not her.
You did help him betray his girlfriend.
Don't kid yourself about that. What the two of you did was completely disrespectful to his relationship. It was deceitful and unkind for you to take on the role of everything-but-hooking-up behind her back. It wasn't okay for either of you to do that. It was entirely wrong and cruel for him to continue seeing her just so long as he couldn't have you. That's a jackass thing to do.
But in the end, you did the right thing, and so did he.
Let him go. This is what had to happen. This is the right thing for him to have done. If he wasn't going to break up with her, he had to stop deceiving her and playing with fire with you.
If you want to be with him, then you have to DO IT, and be with him.
You can't just be his sorta-girlfriend on the side forever. He deserves better, so does his actual-girlfriend.
Get your shit together, and butt out.
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If you really believe in your heart that you are not ready, than you did the right thing. I can't give you perfect advice because I'm not sure how old you are, or how old he is.
If you guys didn't kiss, have sex, fool around, ect than no you did not cheat. Maybe the reason why he isn't talking to you is because he may have felt like he read your signals wrong. He hung out with you hoping for you guys to get back together and when he was open about it, you shot him down. You should try to talk to him, explain to him you wasn't trying to hurt him or lead him on. Tell him you would like to be with him but your afraid you'll hurt him and thats something you don't want to do.
How do you know your not ready? Are you sure its that, or are you scared of committment?
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