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the final goodbye.
heres the long story semi short. I used to work with this guy that I spoke to but we were never exactly close, and I had transfered to a different store and never got to say bye to him, he was asking around on what happened to me and everyone told him I had school, anyways, he had came to my store to drop something off and was surprised to see me. we exchanged numbers and spoke, we hung out, kissed, bought me food and visited me on my breaks on his night off and what not.. he gave me mixed signals and the whole bit.. we then had a blow out and stopped talking last January. I had moved across country 2 weeks later, and was gone until August. In March is when we had our birthday's and I didn't want to tell him happy birthday on his exact day so I waited a week later and texted him "hey", I got no response and the next week was my birthday and he texted me on the exact day and said "u back?" and I went "huh?" and got no response back.. I came home, and a week of being home I was having a car issue and I needed a quick answer so he was the first one I thought of..so I texted him.. with no absolute intentions of being friends again. but he is a car freak so it kind of worked. haha..anyways, he started talking to me again, and I told him that I had no intentions on being friends again. He found it a tad painful..and we kinda talked about the whole situation.. things started falling back to how they used to be..and he was all flirty with me.. calling me and texting me when I didn't. Everyone around me knew I was confused on what I wanted..and wasn't sure if I wanted to be friends with him or not, and he was going through some major stuff.. and I tried to stick by him while dealing with my stuff and adjusting to being home after being on my own for 7 months.. and well I purposely pushed him away last week...and we blew up into a whole big fight again..and he tried to hurt me by calling me a slut and a dumb bitch and another 4 letter word that I won't repeat (but you can guess what word it was). and in the process I just laughed during the whole fight through text message because he was finding a way to hurt me when he knew I wasn't any of these words that he was calling me..
5 days later (yesterday).. he texts me "hi" and I go "can i help you?" and hes all "oh sorry" and im like "?" and hes all "its tj", and im all 'why are u talking to me?" and i got no response.. and hour later i asked him again.. and he said it wasn't him that said it, and i asked him why is my number still in his phone (though clearly my number was in his phone while i was gone and we didnt speak for 7 months), and he never responded and finally he said that i was an asshole and that he never wanted me and that he had a girl and i just didn't get it.. and i snapped back that he had kissed me after he told me "friends dont kiss", and he told me to eff off.. and again I never got the reason of why does he still have my number..and well decided not to respond back to him..
On monday I had decided to change my number to get away from him and my ex.. (and ironically this dude texts me the next morning when it wasn't him?) anyways, my new number goes into affect the 27th because I had submitted applications for new jobs so I can't change my number just yet..my friend and I were discussing how it would be a good idea 2 days before my number changes to text him and tell him my last piece on how I really thought of him as a brother more than anything, I'm going to take 2 weeks to really think about what to say before I say it.. but do you think I should go with it and speak my last piece and then have my number change, then we have no accidental calls or texts anymore and we have no form of contact unless one of us has to go to the other store for something? and what do you think I should say? by the way he's 32 and i'm 21..
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is a deep story which I can relate to very little. Sometimes for us girls it is hard to understand guys and vice versa because possibly it is part of life. Things happen for a reason and the worst thing is that communication fails in a friendship or relationship. Let me quickly summarize my experience with a guy and then you can make a decision an then I can help you. Last year, I was attending a college class and there was a guy whom I did not know and until he talked to me we became friends. I had no intention of talking to him before because he seemed like a jerk and a showoff. Again, you can't judge a book by its cover. We became friends and shared some things that were not very personal, but I began to have feeling for him because he was so different from all the other guys I have ever known. On the last day of class, I gave him something and left and then he catches up to me and asked me why I gave him a keychain? I responded because I wanted him to have it. Then later that day, I was walking towards the exit until I saw him and he handed me a a yellow rose and I knew that although he said that he gave me a rose as a friend, the rose meant something else. We talked one day and it got very awkward because I told him that I liked someone because I thought I did. I think I said that because I felt like I did like someone else and I also wanted to know if he would actually say something about that. After that day, I went to Mexico for vacation and everything became awkward. Our conversation would be pure arguments or just very short. I felt like our conversation was useless and I felt like my heart broken because I still liked him. Even when I liked other guys I couldn't stop thinking about him. I decided to stop talking to him because not only would our conversation be awkward, but I feel like something so sweet and beautiful should be kept as a memory and we should move on. I apologized to him for being the way I was to him. I told him everything I felt for him and deleted him from my contacts. For you, I think you should speak your last pieceand then have your number changed so that you start a new beginning and move on. Being tied to the past would just make you suffer and people do not deserve to suffer. I think you should tell him what you feel and explain to him the good moments and the bad moments that you have had with him. Explain your concerns and your disappointments about him. Tell him what you thought of him and what you thought your future with him was going to be like. Everything that you ever wanted to know or have kept inside of you just say it because it feels good at the end. Just love yourself and for now, just take a while to analyze the situation and understand it. I wish you the best of luck!
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First of all I don't think that I like this guy by what you said, to me it sounds like he has a lot of issues. I think that you're being very smart by changing your number and not contacting him.
If you think that it's important to change your number to avoid calls and texts from him than I would suggest that you do so. If you feel like it's necessary to say anything to him about this tell him that you really don't want to talk to him, wish him good luck and tell him that you're changing your number and you would perfer not hear from him again... if you can think of a nicer way to say that then do so.
Make sure that if you have any mutual friends at the store that you both work in, or worked in that you tell them not to give him your phone number in case he asks for it.
In the unlikely chance that he gets ahold of your phone number again, you could probably call your phone company and block him from contacting you.
If you do pass each other in the store and he says hi to you, be friendly and say hi back, try to keep the conversation as short and sweet as possible.
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