im a girl. and im 14 :p okay so, ill start rom the beginning. in April i dated this guy Magilla (ehh, code name). he was my first love and i dated him for three months.he left me because i wouldnt have sex with him. and i was so heart broken. id have alot of good friends that helped me. one of them was Jonny. Jonny at that time had a girlfriend that he was with for a whole year. so he was there for me through everything. so when school started again in August, Jonny helped me get to most of my classes and i started to really like him. and i knew he did too. me and Jonny would always get high together and have the most funnest time ever when we hung out :)he was like me brother. but i always felt like hed use me becase when his girlfriend wasnt there hed treat me like i was his gf. and i didnt like that. him and his gf broke up last week (its October now)and he asked me out. but......i dont like him as much as he likes me. being in a relationship with him is so different from us just being friends. his kiss dosent feel right. nor when we cuddle. im so confused. i wanna leave him but i know we wont have the same friendship we had befor. help? :(
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? smileydino answered Monday October 10 2011, 8:42 am: I'm going to give you some girl to girl advice, I'm 18 now and when I was 14 I was where you were, well maybe 15 but eh.
So I dumped a guy who wanted to have sex with me, but we dated a year. Shortly after my best friend of 4 years uhm we'll call him "seth" dumped his girlfriend of 2 years, I was 16 at that time and he was 17
Well Seth and I started this relationship up, Our first kiss I got total butterflies, but after that, it started to feel weird, I just thought, I used to think of him as a brother and here I am with my tongue down his throat cuddling up watching movies with him. It's weird transitioning from friends to lovers. Because your mindset takes a bit longer to shift from friendship to relationship.
You can go ahead and break it off, your friendship will not be the same no matter what. Sorry, I've been romantic with a few friends, and i've only successfully stayed friends with about 3 out of 7 of these guys and these were brief encounters, I am talking about one night, I didn't date any of them except for Seth.
Well anyway, you can break up with Johnny and try and be friends, but it won't be the same, or you can give it some time, it will feel weird for a while but it's just because of that transition, it's kind of like breaking in a new pair of shoes, it takes some getting used to that feeling.
I say give it a few weeks, and if things still weird simply tell him it feels weird and you'd rather have your friendship back, he might understand he might not. You are 14 though, remember that. Chances are when you are 18 you will have a different boyfriend and different friends.
I'm not with Seth anymore and he and I are not friends, we are complete strangers to one another and it sucks, but I love the time I had with him, it was the best relationship I've had so far. You could miss out on a great experience but you could also lose out on a friend.
Sorry if I confused you further but I hope this helps dear (: [ smileydino's advice column | Ask smileydino A Question ]
xemmiex3 answered Friday October 7 2011, 12:23 am: i have your answer:
if it does not feel right, it isnt right. the only reason to stay in a relationship is if you are happy, and if you are unsatisfied then you should find a way out. dont lead him too deep into it because you will end up hurting him in the end. whenever a break up occurs, a friendship is lost, and it is better to end things now rather than later because it will become more and more destructive. the sooner you end it, the greater the chance of restoring your friendship. good luck, and continue to keep a good lookout for the nice guys out there; the ones who are in it for your personality. [ xemmiex3's advice column | Ask xemmiex3 A Question ]
blr51697 answered Thursday October 6 2011, 8:15 pm: hello I just want to say that you shouldnt be with someone that is like that (Magilla) but from what I see maybe you should be with Jonny. He helped you through alot. if he likes you that much you should give him a chance. If things dont work out in the next couple days just say hey I dont want to screw up our frendship when we do happen to break up and ask him if he thinks that will happen well if he says "no it will not get betwen us" give him a couple more days then break up with him if things still dont work out and say hope we can still be friends. but I think you should give him a chance and trust me the hope we can still be friends thing does work. My ex and i broke up 1 year ago and we are like brother and sister. Yeah i know were are that close and we went out for 1 and a half years. BTW im also 14 so I kinda know what you are going through. another thing is to just follow what you heart is telling you. if he really liked you you two will try to work out your differencs. if he was a nice person he wouldnt do u wrong.
I hope I helped
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if you need any ore help or anything like that please ask me
Xui answered Thursday October 6 2011, 7:56 pm: People cannot use you if you don't let them.
The ex boyfriend who left you because you didn't want to give into sex was using you. If someone is that shallow to end a relationship over such a thing then you shouldn't be with that person to begin with. Dumping someone over such a matter is not only proof he just wanted to use you but the guy never respected you. You should be proud, Not feeling guilty because you had self respect.
As far as I read, Jonny isn't using you. Least not yet and will not as long as you don't let it get too far. Communication is important in friendships and relationships. If you are feeling uncomfortable with how close Jonny is becoming then you should remind him that you are uncomfortable. Now you stated that Jonny broke up with his girlfriend......Whatever you do DO NOT become his rebound. I'm not saying this is his intentions but like I said in the beginning nobody can use you if you do not allow them too. Let Jonny know that "As a friend" you are hear to listen if he needs to talk. The key word "Friend" should give him the hint. Communicate [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
CarlySo answered Thursday October 6 2011, 6:38 pm: well the best thing to do is talk to him about your feelings. tell him that you found out that your not ready to be together like this. tell him at first you thought you were ready but you were wrong. tell him how much you like being friends and that you hope that you two can stay friends forever and thats all you want for now. its the best thing for you to do, i know when y'all break up you two wont be the same as before at first but in a year or 2 things will go back to normal. I hope i helped! [ CarlySo's advice column | Ask CarlySo A Question ]
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