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Husband deployed questioning marriage
Hey my husband has been deployed about a year now and he will be coming home in the next month or two. We've been married for about 2 years now and we have no children. Lately I've felt like I've been very disconnected emotionally with him. We do talk almost everyday but its not like how it used to be in the beginning of the deployment. He doesn't seem excited to talk to me we have been bickering a little more and i'm starting to take a step back and think what is happening here. I've become a completely different person than i was a year ago. I'm more independent, realize i can actually live by myself and take care of myself (something i never thought i could do) I know people say it's the distance just wait until he gets home but when he came home on his 2 week leave all we did was bicker about little things. I'm afraid that when he gets home i'm still going to feel not as attached as i was in the beginning and that scares me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated i do rate so please anything would help. Thank you!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sometimes relationships have ups and downs. I'm not a therapist but it maybe that there is a distant coming between you or maybe its just a phase that your relationship is going through. Question is: Are you happy?
Do you think that this may continue through your marriage? What do you bicker about?
I think if you're feeling a disconnect its definitely something that you should worry about. You need to find answeres to these questions and figure out something thats going to work for you.
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A lot had happened to both of you during this separation. Even if your husband has not been in a battle zone but has been in an area that supports the battles he has lived under great stresses for this past year.
You on the other hand have been force to learn to live on your own. You have not only had to learn how to deal what would have been yours to deal with, you have had to learn to deal with those things a husband would normally care for in a marriage. This has placed a great deal of stress on you as well.
Because of your individual situations you have been forced to see the world as individuals than as a couple and you have matured differently. So yes there is going to be some bickering. He wants to come home to the women as he left and the world he left. That is what has kept him sane and focused. You want the man you married to come home to you but he may have seen and done things that he cannot share with you because none of us should ever have to do some of the things we ask of are soldiers and airman.
When he does come home he is not the man that he was when he left, possibly suffering from PTSD. You are not the women he left at home either. Hopefully you both of you still love each other and willing to work through a period of adjustment.
The military now realizes that these separations places a great strain on a marriage, especially a young marriage such as yours. They have programs to help. They also have help for those veterans returning suffering PTSD. If your husband is one of them please see that he takes advantage of the help available. You both should take advantage of the programs to help you adjust to his returning home.
I would also like to thank you for your service as the wife of a service man. Also please when next you see your husband or speak to him; thank him for his service from me.
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Sometimes distance can cause us to become detached, I would suggest you too take others advice and wait until he comes home. It could be one of those things that needs to be seen again for it all to come back to you. If when he gets home and you two don't feel the connection then you can decide what you want too but for now I would wait it out until you see him again. A year is a long time but I think it is too soon to jump on it just yet.
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