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Giving him the time he needs before having sex?
20/f Tony 18
Me and Tony recently started dating. We were "talking" for a long time before that though and I've known him for about 8 years. The thing is that Tony's a virgin and I'm not. I've only had sex with one guy. Tony said he just wants to wait until he finds the right girl, he's not waiting until marriage. I respect that and it's not like i'm going to dump him because of this.
The thing is, do I just wait for him to come to me when it comes to sex? I'm not going to pressure him into ANYTHING but i'm know he's going to be nervous when and if the time comes to talk about it or even just do it. I don't know how to act with this!
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Discussing it/bringing it up once in a while is not pressure. Making your needs and wants known is not pressure.
Make your stance of "whenever you're ready, so am I" clear to him and then ask him what his boundaries are, how far he's comfy with going. Explore those boundaries as much as you like, making out or whatever he's ok with. Whenever you get physical just ask him if he wants to try something new or stick with the safe territory, and go with what he asks. Make communication about sex and your mutual sexualities something standard and comfortable, something that you can talk about and then do without a problem on either side.
The key here is to make nothing uncomfortable. Let him know how much you like him and how much you enjoy being with him, give him positive reinforcement and if he says no to something you want give him a smile and a kiss and let him know that it's perfectly fine by you that he said no, that you just want to be with him in whatever ways he's comfy with. Encourage him to be the aggressor (because as the experienced one you're probably going to be more comfy with it at first) and get a back and forth dynamic going where you can come to him, but he can also come to you. Communication is key to this, as is that comfort. He has to feel like he can approach you when he wants, too.
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I think you kind of already answered it. Just let things run their course. If you're the right girl, then he'll ask you if he can stick it in you.
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