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my bestfriend won't leave her bf's side because he's moving
My best friend and I use to spend almost everyday together. We are both females & 26. I have a 1 year old daughter and my best friend is/was a significant part of her life as well. Her boyfriend just quit his job because he is moving 6 hours away. He's not positive when he's moving but possibly in 2 months. Now that he has quit his job they spend every night and day together. The only time I see her is if her BF has something else to do. This really hurts my feelings and I'm feeling taken advantage of. She came to my house last night,for the 1st time in 3weeks (her BF was at one of his friends house). She couldn't get here until 12:30am but we planned on watching one of our favorite shows and even though I had to get up at 6am w/ my baby I so badly wanted to spend time w/ my friend. Well we didn't even get to watch our show because a half hour after she got here her BF called and said he wanted to go get something to eat and so she left. I'm not the kind of girl that gets jealous of my best friends relationship w/ her bf. It just drives me nuts because I could never imagine treating a friend like that and then expecting that friend to be there for me 100% when my BF moves away. Its even more hurtful because I have a one year old daughter that she use to see everyday and now hasn't seen her in over a month. My friend always says "I feel so bad that I haven't seen you guys but he's moving so I want to spend as much time with him as possible". I feel like my friendship is being taken for granted. Am I being selfish or being taken advantage of?
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I know how you feel, I have a friend spends time with her boyfriend. Have you talked to your friend about this? Have you told how you're feeling? I told my friend how I felt but she's going to do what she wants to do and I have to accept that. I can't make her hang out with me but I can however tell her how I feel. Maybe ask if you can have a day during the week that is planned for just you and your friend? That day is dedicated to the two of you. That way she isn't spending all her time with her boyfriend. If that doesn't work than I would suggest finding some new people to hang out with so you aren't always waiting around for her. It stinks but sometimes things get in the way of friendships. At this time its a little bump in the road but I'm sure you two will figure something out.
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I can understand both sides.
On yours, you feel abandoned. On hers, she is GOING to feel abandoned.
When it comes to a romantic relationship, people really cling to that. She clearly really loves her boyfriend and I can understand her wanting to spend as much time with him as she possibly can before he moves, though I do think it's unfair for her to be your friend only when it's convenient for her.
Best solution is just talk to her. Don't guilt her, just simply state how you're feeling. Try to be as understanding about her situation as you'd expect her to be about yours.
Hopefully y'all can patch things up! :)
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I don't think its either, I think your friend is just scared that when her boyfriend moves their relationship won't last so she's being clingy. When something like this happens people tend to get a bit obsessed and I think that's whats happened with her. She know's that you two are such good friends that you'll be there for her after - its not taking advantage, its just a fact.
You could always try inviting her and the boyfriend round, that way, she's with him but you get her too.
I know its difficult because you miss her, but try and see where she's coming from.
And most importantly, don't hold a grudge against her because that will most definitely ruin your freindship.
hope it works out
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