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I want to die
I dont care if this in the right thing or not I want to die. I was raped buy my boyfriend. I am only thirteen years old. And i don't want to have a baby and I don't want an abortion and I don't want adoption. But I want to grow up! I haven't done anything in my life yet. I want to try things and go to high school and everything i am only in 6th grade! Life hasn't even started yet! I told my mom but not that I was forced and I'm not telling her so don't even ask me too! I told her a week ago it has been three weeks into my pregnancy my mom won't talk to me. My dad is out of the picture. I'm not telling my boyfriend because I am done with him. I have nobody I can't even get a god damn doctors appointment. I just want to die! Their is no point of life anymore I'm going to be stuck with a kid that I don't even want! Please just somebody talk to
Me. I feel like I have no one. I just want someone to understand. And tell me what to do about my mom and if I should tell my boyfriend. Save me
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
Take a deep breath!
dont worry....
ok you have to realize some basics here:
1) past is past. the is the present you have to take are of now and the FUTURE!
2)you have in you very a beautiful baby.
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF IT BECAUSE IT IS YOURS! ITS A GIFT!! serious! some people do so many stuff just to concieve- you are lucky and healthy! so stop worrying and-
3)eat healthy! eat for 2! eat your favorite stuff because your baby will benefit from what you eat! YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR SPECIAL BABY GIFT AND YOU WANT IT TO BE HEALTHY AND SMART AND YOU WILL BE SO HAPPY TRUST ME- WHEN YOU SEE IT!
4) Pray-ask for strength- ask your guardian angel to guide you- go talk to a priest in confession and ask him what to do..pray that your mom will stop being mad soon and take care of you..
5) Try to find a good doctor to guide you through your pregnancy. It will be fine!!
6) Do not worry anymore what people will say about you. Focus on the present!!!
7) leave your boyfriend whatever he says, he shouldve taken care not to get you pregnant- he is so selfish to force you to do things you dont like or you havent thought of teh consequences so he is not a good person- YOU DONT NEED BAD INFLUENCES around you right now.
8) Take Revenge by being a pretty pregnant girl and you will have a healthy beautiful baby and people will be so jealous that you are happy and your baby is happy and let them die of Jealousy !that is your revenge!
9) then go back to school...
10) do fun stuff with your baby!
it will be so cute i promise! take care and i will be praying for you! dont worry!! eat, girl! make the future right! your mom will be so proud of you on how you correct your mistakes and you two will be alright....
its going to be fine!!!
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The very first thing you need to do is call the following phone number 1-800-656-HOPE. This will connect you to an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network.
This is a 24/7 hotline manned by volunteers who will help you and work with you to find people in you home town to help you make the right decisions and recover from this.
The next thing you need to do is tell you mother you were Raped. Your mother is not talking to you because she thinks you voluntarily had sex. Rape is not something anyone volunteers for. The people at RAINN will, I'm sure, help you in how to explain this to your mother.
Then either you and your mother and you and someone from RAINN need to contact the police. You don't say how old your boyfriend is and it really doesn't matter. What matters is he raped you. You can't pretend he didn't, it's not going to go away. What you can do is by reporting your rape to the police is save some other girl from being raped. He raped you he will rape again.
The people at RAIN can explain this a lot better than I can in the space I have here. What I can say is that it is important for you to get help for yourself and the people at RAINN can do that for you. You don't need moms' permission to call them. For your own best interest you need to report what has happened to the police to bring closure to this for your own peace of mind.
It is unfortunate that you have become pregnant from being raped. From one stand point that is not all that bad. The next girl he rapes may not be that fortunate and be physically harmed or worse. You can prevent this by reporting him to the police. I urge you to do this. I also urge you to please call RAINN.
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I know it seems like you are stuck with no way out, but you are right; your life has barely begun. There are so many more things for you to experience, and as horrible as this situation is, much of it is temporary. You wont be pregnant forever, and you wont be trapped with nowhere to turn forever. Things can get better, if you give them time. I wont lie; you will feel the pain of this rape for the rest of your life. But it will get better. But if you want to die and decide you want help with this, this website provides free counseling through IM conversations:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It's free and everyone there is well-trained. Even if you aren't feeling suicidal, they can help you in any crisis where you feel desperate and trapped.
There is another online counseling service for rape victims here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Yet again, it's free and completely confidential. These people are trained to help you and they have a lot of experience. Their main website also has a lot of useful information:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I know you say you don't want to have a baby, put it up for adoption, or have an abortion. But these are your options, and there is a time limit on your choice. You are only 13; your body isn't mature enough yet to give birth. Yes, you are physically able to give birth. But it will be difficult and there is a much higher chance of something going wrong. Because of this, I would recommend that you get an abortion, but this is your choice. If you don't want it, don't do it. But be aware that giving birth will be rough for you.
If you understand the risks of childbirth and accept them, your next best option is to put your baby up for adoption. After the child is born, you must instantly become an adult, for your child's sake, and your body and mind aren't ready for that yet. And there is no way you can support this child by yourself. You can't get a job yet, you can't rent an apartment, you can't get a credit card. It's impossible, unless your mom decides to help. Even then, it will be terribly hard. Anyway, right now you should be learning about yourself and the world around you, not struggling to bring a new life into the world. A lot of couples are looking to adopt infants, and they can give your baby something you can't: stability.
Yes, you can technically keep this baby and try to raise it, hopefully with your mother's help, but this is the worst option for everyone involved. I would really recommend adoption, or abortion if a doctor believes birth will be too hard for you. You don't have to decide right this moment, but you need to choose SOON.
As for your boyfriend, NO you absolutely should not tell him. He raped you. He has not right to stay in your life or the life of your child. Ending your relationship with him is most definitely the right decision. You need to stay away from him and make sure he stays away from you. He raped you once; he will do it again if you give him the chance. I know you probably wont take this to court and want to keep it secret, but if you have to, you need to tell someone if only to keep him away from you. He's dangerous, especially now. If he isn't bothered by the thought of raping a 13-year-old girl, he probably wont be bothered by the idea of hurting her until she miscarriages just to get rid of the baby. If you want an abortion, get a doctor to do it. Don't let him push you down a staircase or anything horrible like that. He could kill you, either by accident or on purpose.
Also, you need to talk to a doctor. You don't have to give the details of how you got pregnant, but whether you want to have this baby or abort it, you need to talk to a doctor. If you keep it, you will need to take special vitamins and see a doctor regularly to make sure nothing is going wrong for you or the fetus. This is very important. If your mother refuses to help you with this, she is failing you as a mother. And if she continues to refuse to talk to you about it, you will have to try to do this on your own. Try Planned Parenthood ([Link](Mouse over link to see full location)). They will most likely need parental permission for certain procedures, but if you go in an talk to them (or call) and make an appointment, your mother might be willing to at least sign a paper. They charge for services on a sliding scale based on income. You have no income, so it will probably be free. If that doesn't work, you may have to go to your school nurse or school counselor; tell them you are pregnant and desperate, and your mom wont take you to a doctor or even talk to you. They can help you.
But seriously, you need to see a doctor. I don't care if you have to knock on the door of a clinic and yell at them; this has to be done.
As for your mom... You need to try and talk to her. Write her a letter if face-to-face talking is too difficult. You really should tell her about the rape (it will make things much easier for you), but failing that... tell her how much you love her, and how much you regret this, and that you really need her help. She is your mother; this exactly the kind of situation she is supposed to help you with. If you have to, get another adult to talk to her on your behalf. She is doing you a huge disservice by trying to ignore this situation. She is acting like a sulky child when she is supposed to be a mother.
And always remember, you are not alone. There are people who care about you. They may not show it, or they might be concerned strangers you've never met, but these people do care. If given a chance, they will reach out and help you.
Something horrible has happened to you. It was not your fault in any way, but now you are unfairly left to deal with the fallout. But you can do this. Just hold on a little longer, and never stop fighting.
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