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I don't know what's wrong with me
Hi... rainbowcherrie. i'm 19 and studying in university. I thought that now i'm in uni, finding friends would be much easier than ever. Yet, i'm in my second semester and have no close friends. I pretty much only know 15 people in the whole uni and all of them are only acquaintances.
I'm not afraid to initiate a conversation with new people, however i find it hard to maintain an interesting conversation. I have no close friends throughout my school years and i don't know why. In class, i seem to know quite a lot of people, but i find myself alone on weekends and breaks.They never invited me to parties or outings. I never hesitate if they ask me to do something. What should i do?
thanks
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Snap!
Seriously, you're not alone on this one.
If you're anything like me then you started university full of expectations of how great it was going to be. I thought I was going to get there, make a million friends in the first five minutes and ride off into the sunset with them happily ever after. There is a lot of pressure because we're constantly told by our parents, friends and other students that it's going to be the best experience of our lives and when it isn't, we feel like we're doing something wrong and that everyone else is having more fun than us.
I'm just about to start my second year and I don't have loads of friends there. Sure, I have a couple of close ones but when they were busy, I spent a lot of my first year sitting alone in my room. Towards the end of the year I was very miserable and depressed and seriously considered dropping out. Ultimately, I realised that the experience was what I made it and that it was up to me to make the effort.
Try meeting people who have common interests. Join a university society, club or team. You'll find it easier to maintain conversations about things you're interested in and you'll meet like minded people. A lot of clubs like this will organise regular socials and nights out, which will give you an opportunity to bond with people and won't leave you by yourself every weekend. Or you could try volunteering. Most universities have a lot of volunteering opportunities and these are a great way to meet people.
If you find yourself in a class with someone you know, suggest going for a coffee afterwards, or ask them if they want to do something at the weekend. If you find yourself with nothing to do one evening, why not call someone you know up and ask them if they want to hang out? Instead of sitting around waiting for invitations, make your own plans with people. The more you do this, the more you will bond and create friendships. I know it's scary to put yourself out there but it will pay off.
I know it seems like everyone else in the whole world is having fun but they're really not. I know plenty of people who struggled during their first year at university and who found it didn't live up to their expectations.
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