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Broken friendship
Recently I've lost one of my best friends. After like 10/12 years of being friends things got all sorts of messes up between us; to where we don't even have any kind of communication what so ever anymore. Long story short, I pretty much had to chose between my best friend/lover (my boyfriend/future husband) for 4 years now, and my "so called" best friend for 10 years (prolly longer then that honestly). But anyways they never got along in the beginning because my boyfriend (whom I shall call "my lover" from here on out) didn't want me hanging out with my (ex) best friend without him or not at all at times, because she sleeps with a lot of guys and parties n has cheated on every guy shes ever been with including my brother. But my lover didn't want me to catch her slanggard behavior, so my friend started a bunch of crap about how he was pushing me around and being an ass which is prolly true. But I love him so much n he loves me just as much mayb even more. And I love my best friend to death she was like a sister to me that I never fought with, but now everything is screwed. What should I do about it? I obviously chose my lover, idk what to do about it cause they can't stand eachother. Has anyone ever had a situation like this? Give me advice cause Im going to feel like a shitty friend or girlfriend. :'(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I understand both perspectives. Your boyfriend doesn't want you to be tempted or influenced to follow in your friends foot steps. Also at the same time, if either of them truly loved you, they wouldn't have made you choose. You can fix this by stating to your friend that I am with this guy whether you like it or not. I want us to still be friends and if it will make you comfortable, I will hang out with you when hes not around. Then I would talk to your boyfriend and say, she is my best friend whether you like it or not. She has been there for me every step of the way and I don't want to do anything to mess that up. If you have to trust me when I say that no matter what she does, I will not follow in her footsteps. If he truly loves you, he will listen to you. If it makes him more comfortable, I would suggest hanging out with her during the day like going to the spa or shopping at the mall or even going to a n afternoon movie. It will be much better when you keep them separated because if you keep them in the same room, chaos will continue to invade the party. If something were to happen, you would want your bets friend by your side to pick up the pieces. There are some things guys can't do or say . Sometimes you just need a girls perspective.
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