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should I talk to him about it?
So I have a problem.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now (our anniversary is monday) and I absolutely love him! We had a rocky past but everything is going great now. Our past was rocky because I caused some trouble by still being in contact with my ex, and my boyfriend found out and thats when things got worse. But I fixed them and no longer in contact with any exs. However, a few days ago I found out that he's still facebook friends with his ex. I know nothing is going on between them because the last time he spoke of her was the beginning of our relationship and I trust him and know he wouldn't cheat on me. But I can't stop thinking that he has some kind of connection with his ex, even if it is just facebook friends. I don't know why but it just bothers me so much. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it for the past few days. And i've noticed that whenever I do think about it, I get a sickening stomach ache feeling. It makes me a little upset that he's still facebook friends with her. I'm not facebook friends with any of my exes.
In fact, one time I had some pictures of me and my ex (it was prom pictures) and my boyfriend got jealous/mad and was uncomfortable with the pictures. It gave him bad memories of our past. So I was kind enough to delete those pictures because I knew he felt uncomfortable with them. Now i'm uncomfortable with something (him still being facebook friends with his ex) but i really don't know what to do.
I feel like this is so juvenille and childish... to get uncomfortable that he's facebook friends with his ex. Am I making this a big deal when its not? Should I talk to him about it? Another thing you should know is that my boyfriend can get angry very easily. Like I said earlier- our 1 year anniversary is coming up on monday. I'm scared that if I bring this problem up, he might get angry because its so juvenille and then our 1 year anniversary would be terrible because he would be mad at me. So i'm not sure if I should mention it or not because I guess it is a little childish problem but it still bothers me.
And another thing, if I didn't talk to him about this, I think it would really get on my nerves. I'm not the one to "forget" about something like this.. I think it would haunt me and especially on our anniversary, I wouldn't get as pleasant feelings. I guess i'm just scared to bring it up because I fear that he will get angry because its such an immature problem. I don't know what to do :( I love him and don't want him to get mad at me over something like this. But still it irritates me that he is facebook friends with her.
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Dont worry about it... not childish at all .. its just simple logic... you guys are going out and its you two that matter none of your past... he got angry at you and jealous for pictures and keeping in contact with YOUR exes... STAND YOUR GROUND.. tell him straight off the bat... I deleted my exes and I dont talk to them or have any pictures of them because you mean the most to me.. so now its really bothering me (if its bothering you and hes a good boyfriend he will understand you because no good boyfriend wants their girlfriend to be bothered by anything) so then you tell him you want him to do the same to delete his ex off his facebook and everywhere else like you have.. so then he wont have to get angry again due to your exes and all.. if he respects you he wont get mad and he will just delete it... plus its your anniversery and if he cares about it he will do it in honor of your guys anniversery so that you guys wont have any problems and no stress involved.
He would be acting very childish if he got angry over it.. its fine , plus do it asap , like today!!!
good luck :)
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You are not being childish when it comes to this. He wanted you to get rid of pictures and not toalk to your ex's then it should only be fair for him to do the same.. he wants to talk to his ex's and not let you do the same thats not right. and honestly there is no reason for him to stay in contact with her... sit down and talk with him... tell him that you dont feel its right that he wanted you to get rid of your pictures and stop talking to your ex's and he can keep in contact with his. he is being very disrespectful and hypocritical... and if you dont talk to him about it then nothing will change good luck
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Well looks like you both got a taste of what it's like to be in contact with each others exes...
Honestly? Why did you need to be in contact with them in the first place? Exes cause nothing but drama and trouble for your current relationship and unless someone has a child with someone there should be absolutely no need to be in touch with someone from a past relationship.
Anyway, I would sit down with him and discuss with him how it makes you feel that he is still in contact with his exes. This isn't just his wrong doing but yours as well. You BOTH need to stop contacting old baggage if you want your relationship to work. You could tell him that you've been thinking about the mistakes you've made by being in contact with your exes and you feel that you both should start over and clean the plates and not have anything to do with the exes. Communication is the key, You both work it out.
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It doesnt matter whether the problem is childish, its having a bad affect on your relationship and you should do something about it. Now here is where it can be childish or mature, the way you go about talking to him about it. Don't bring up your ex and the prom pictures and how nice you were to have taken them down, that wont help anything. Go up to him and say you wanna to talk about somethings thats been bothering you.
Tell him how you feel, that you feel childish about it because you do trust him completely "I trust him and know he wouldn't cheat on me". And that you dont really know why it makes you feel uncomfortable but that it just does, maybe even squeeze in a sorry. And lastly (if he doesnt already bring it up), ask if he can remove her.
I've personally never had this problem but this is the right way of going about it, you cant tell me you've never heard "communication is key in relationships" right?
Communication and honesty is key for me but i guess those two go hand in hand, I hope you have a great 1 year anniversary
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