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Overcoming loneliness
So see,the worst pain anyone could bear is being alone.Connecting with others seems to be simplicity itself but to me it just doesn't happen that way.Why is that?It's been that way all my life,i was always the 25th guy when a teacher might say to divide into groups of 2,3 or 4,it's as if i don't even exist sometimes and i don't know why.I'm not unattractive and i don't have a weird personality but people seem to just forget me.Over the years i've cropped up so many frustrations and anger and its made me an empty person.I even find it hard to laugh these days.All in all,i've grown tired of life,i've tried numerous hobbies and all to get out there and have even gone as far as to ask God what is wrong with me,but my pleas just stick to the roof of my dark room.Cutting myself is the only thing that makes me feel alive,-how do i go about learning to breathe all over again?
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hey. My personality is almost like yours, but not as extreme. I tend to be the girl who is almost invisible. I'm shy and quiet. Don't normally speak out unless I have to. I kind of just go with the flow and I hate getting attention or standing out. But guess what...? Thats who I am and I'm proud of it. Now, I'm not saying you should be proud to be a loner haha. But i'm saying that you shouldn't let it get to you that easily.. Its good to be independent and have your "alone time" but there's a difference between that, and being invisible to the face of the earth. Believe me, I know this because I used to be invisible too. Dinner would be so awkward whenever the topic switched to me, because normally nobody talks about or to me. I play volleyball too and i'm the teammate that is loud on the court but quiet off the court. When we had a team meeting, one time I spoke up and said something, and everyone had a HUGE shock on their face because I guess I was invisible the whole time. So my point is, you're not alone. Plenty of people feel this way, including me. I still do sometimes but i'm gradually getting better at it. Of course, my situation wasn't extreme as yours. I don't cut myself, and I don't "hide" from the world.. you want to know why? because I CARE. I care about the situation and I WANT to get better.. not worse. In my opinion, cutting yourself and being all depressed doesn't do shit. If anything, it makes the problem WORSE. Not better.. So why bother doing it?? You need to take my advice and do what I did/do. Instead of cutting yourself and feeling sorry for yourself (which doesn't help your situation at all), try harder. I know you said you've tried everything.. but I figured out that maybe you shouldn't try so hard... I used to try a lot of things so people would notice me. It got to the point where I would lie to my friends just so I would look "cool" and get "noticed". but then i realized that was wrong. I realized I shouldn't try so hard to... well to be me.. Being yourself should come naturally. You don't need to try so hard to live life. You just have to relax, go with the flow, be yourself, and let fate take you down the rest of the road. Do the things YOU love to do, and the rest will take care of itself. Trust me. Its happened to me and i'm sure if you just stop trying so hard, let go of the past, stop cutting and stop feeling depressed and sorry, and just let loose and have fun doing the things you love to do, then everything will be okay.
Also, you need to stop thinking so negatively!!! that's the number 1 rule! If you're always thinking "oh poor me. I'm a loner. poor me. i have no friends. i hate my life. blah blah blah" then you're not helping the situation at all... get your ass off the couch and move your feet and DO SOMETHING about the situation. Your problems won't get solved by themselves.. you need to do something about it. Think positively. Try to better yourself every day.
And you need new friends. If you're feeling so isolated from the world.. it obviously means you don't have good friends that motivate you to better yourself. I recently found a great friend. She has taught me a lot and motivated me to do extraordinary things. I used to be kinda selfish. Always wanting money so I could go to the mall and buy stuff for myself. But after meeting her, she made me realize that I can be happy, by making others happy. I started doing volunteer work in my community. I signed up for clubs like Habitat for Humanity. Thanksgivings, I feed the homeless people. its actually really fun :) and it makes me feel better about myself. Doing things like that make you realize what life is really about. its not always about you.. giving is more important than receiving. So maybe thats what you need to do. Find someone or something to motivate you in life. Do things for other people and soon enough you'll get the satisfaction you crave in life. In my example.. feeding the homeless during thanksgiving is WAYYY more satisfaction then going to the mall and spending hundreds on useless clothes. And like you said- it makes me feel alive :)
I really hope I helped you.. my fingers hurt from typing so much. but its worth it because I do care and want to help. if you need any more help, inbox me please.
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Hey there,
Okay there is no doubt you are suffering immensely and as I'm sure you know cutting is not the answer to your problems In fact it is only worsening it,despite what you say about making you feel alive.
It will only do that for a certain amount of time..
what happens a while after you have cut?how do you feel then? back to where you were before you did it? Its a vicious cycle and you need to stop for your own safety and well being..I know that's easier said than done but have you ever tried to talk to someone? you might say there is no one or no one will listen but that's not true. there has to be someone. Your mom dad? an aunt or uncle even a therapist it really would help. you seem to be bottling up all your feelings and its driving you to the extreme.
You say you have tried numerous hobbies..but have you tried actually talking to people?
Have you ever wondered maybe the reason you can't connect with people is because you have become accustomed to being disconnected yourself?
There is nothing wrong with you. You just find it harder to get to know people than others that's totally normal. From what you have said above it seems like you have sunken into a state of depression and self isolation maybe I'm wrong but it's not healthy. This may sound harsh but you need to stop allowing yourself to feel sorry for your self. Focus on the small little things that make you smile anything. get out of the house walk run..feel the fresh air stop and look around you and be thankful for the fact that you are living.. take note of small positive things about yourself and the world. Stop telling yourself you can't connect with people because despite what you say you can. Show people your personality talk to people about your interests..goals etc.
Perhaps you have tried that in the past but you need to try harder or things won't ever change.
You need to shed this apathetic attitude.
you need to talk. Scream even let go of the anger and the past and look to the future at being a new person. I don't know details of your past obviously..or why you are like this now maybe something happened or maybe you were just always shy. But you are like this because you have sunken into negativity.everyone has bad times and low moments but you are having them constantly and you need to stop.. things aren't always as bad as they seem trust me.
I hope this helps in some way I really do.. please get yourself out there don't hold back from cutting and please talk to someone
Im always here if you need someone feel free to inbox me..
Much <3
Jess
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