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Bad Situation sex friends and babies
21 m
hey I have recently become the center of a huge problem. I have been in a relationship with a girl for seven years, we have a two year old daughter, and have had ups and downs, we will call her "B". also there is this friend of mine, a girl, whom Ive known for 10 years and is one of my closest friends, we will call her "A". One day 5 years ago "A" and "B" meet and become best friends,almost like sisters, closer than I am to either of them, and it stayed that way for 5 years. in 2007 "B" cheated on me for three months with an ex of hers, "A" was by her side the whole time. it blew over, I got over it, we settled back into our life again. things go back to normal, until six months ago, me and "B" were going through a tough time again, nothing major. but through the arguing me and "A" became very close again. I start spending more time with "A". showing less and less attention to "B". Me and "A" flirt, play, talk, laugh, and then, we tell each other how we feel about one another. I like her, she likes me. so we talk about my girlfriend; (her best friend), and what we should do. We don't want to be together, but there are feelings that haven't been addressed through out the friendship. We realize if we continue on this way someday soon a line will be crossed, don't know when, don't know how, just "something is going to happen". Still, we both decide to ignore it, and someday came about a week later... i went to her house one night and spent the night... nothing happened really, kiss, hug, touch, all behind my girlfriend's(her best friend)back. we decide it was a one time thing, it will never happen again. month later, it did...And then a week later, and then a few days later, and then every day, taking it further and further, until.. we had sex in February 2011. I then kept going to her house regularly through out February in to March, lying the whole time, too "B"s face. "A" lied too, saying anything to hide what we were doing, at this point it was like living a double life me and "A" were "together" when not around everyone and in public or around "B" and just friends. I couldn't take it anymore. I told be I'm breaking up and doing things on my own. I moved in with "A" and we were pretty much an unofficial couple. That lasted a month. April first I moved back home because "B" and "A"s ex decided two can play the game and were fooling around. me and "A" couldn't deal and put a stop to it. so I'm back home trying to mend the scar i have torn into "B"s heart all while she is hating me and her best friend for doing this to her. things are getting better, a month goes by. i have stopped talking to "A" at this point, and "B" and I are good. I receive a call from "A" hailing good news and bad news.. Good news, she a very healthy 21 yr old young woman. Bad news, I'm gunna have another little baby... yes, she is six weeks pregnant. "B" was listing to the convo because I assumed I had nothing to hide. So yet another scar cut open, not only did i cheat on "B" with her best friend, and leave her to be with said best friend. Now I am having a baby with her to. which brings us to the present, Me and "B" are still together trying to work things out at home for our daughter. I rarely talk to "A", who is now five months along. I did go to the first ultra sound about a week ago but we have no other communication other wise. things are tense at home and i am having trouble figuring out the right thing to do, about everything "A", "B", babies, I just don't know anymore, it all just seems like a bad episode of jerry springer. there are way more details if you need them, but can anyone give me advice on what to do next???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You need to figure out what you want B , A, Or to be alone. Don't stay with either of them just to have some place to stay or someone to be around you bounce from girl to girl your going to end up in alot more trouble. As of this message I think you are wanting to be with B. Your first thing to do is tell be. We both hurt each other and we both are very sorry. Tell her how much you love her. With the baby I think the only communication you two need to have is baby talk. I hope you work because youll have to help support this other child. As well as your current girlfriend and your daughter. You should also set up days this baby comes to be with you. You will obviously have to wait if she nurses the baby but setting up visitation being a man and buy diapers formula wipes etc. will help ease A. Maybe you should also try a promise ring with B but dont even attempt if you dont mean it.
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This is a messy situation you've got yourself into
You cheated, Your girlfriend "B" has every right to be pissed. You have another child on the way so the right thing to do is to be a man and accept responsibility to your actions. You said you went to the first ultra sound, Honestly you should be going to all the ultra sounds. This IS your child too "A" didn't make this baby on her own.
You can try to work it out with "B" but I'll tell you what.... Expect her to never trust you the same again. You have 2 children, You need to accept that and work it out with both "A" and "B" it would be 100% wrong to not have any further contact with "A" because you don't want to make the situation worse. What ignoring the situation with "A" can do is eventually send you to court for child support if you don't support her and that child and you will fall yourself into a bigger mess then you are already in. This is called being responsible, When you have a child with someone you are always going to be in contact with that child's mother to some extent. If you don't want to fuck up the situation and want it too work with "B" then you should sit down and talk about the situation with "B". "B" needs to know that you have another child on the way and you are not only a father to her child but too her friends as well and somehow she is either going to accept it or she won't.
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First I think you need to figure out what you want. Do you really want to be with "B" and does she really want to be with you? Or are you together because of the child. If so you two shouldnt stay together just bc you have a child. If you do decide that you want to be with "B" then both of you need to forgive and forget and start over. I understand "B" is hurt and yes you have a baby on the way but she isnt completely without fault in the relationship either. Start there Any other question feel free 2 ask.
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