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Lost all my best friends because of a liar!
Female-15-Australian
It all started with a trip to the movies with my best friends and some guys. I have a boyfriend but this guy "Jake" started coming onto me. I went with it because I was caught in the moment but WE DID NOT KISS as I pulled back just before because I love my boyfriend. A few weeks later we had all gotten over it and my boyfriend knew and we talked about it and we are still together now. But when I was on the bus with my friend "Jackson" I was told that one of my best friends at the movies "Rosie" went up to my boyfriend saying how can you still trust her? "Jackson" told me this. I trust "Jackson" like everyone else I know (I trust people easily.) so I believed him. I was also on my way to a friends house "Kayla." That night at the sleepover I told her what "Jackson" told me and I was really angry because I thought "Rosie" wouldn't ever do that and I started calling her some bad things that I regretted as soon as I said them. I said to "Kayla" to not say anything because I didn't mean it, I was angry and I wanted to talk to "Rosie" about it. The next night I did talk to "Rosie" and my boyfriend about it and I found out "Jackson" was LYING! I then went straight to "Kayla" saying "Please don't say anything I already said I didn't mean it and I still don't, Jackson was lying, I regret what I said." "Kayla" then said "I won't say anything." So the next day I go to school and all my best friends know even "Rosie"! I got really angry at "Kayla" and asked why she told them and she said it was because she was looking out for "Rosie" Well what about me? I was then kicked out the group and another best friend "Libby" had a go at me infront of all of my friends, some randoms and some year 8's/9's. It was so humiliating. I was kicked out of the group and "Kayla" and "Libby" told me that they hate me. "Rosie" told me she understands why I said those things but she wont forget it. I now hang out with my other good friends but I am still upset with what happened. I don't know what to do or say to them because none of them are bothering to talk to me anymore. It's been about 6 weeks but I can't stop remembering all the great times I had with them and how much I miss them. I don't want to go back to the group because I know that nothing will be the same again, I just want them to know that I'm still sorry and upset about how much I hurt "Rosie." (I heard she cried when she found out). I feel so bad still "Rosie" doesn't deserve anything I said she is so beautiful and the most caring person I know.I have tried moving on but it's so hard. Please help me!
I used "fake names" because I don't want to share their real names.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well.. at least you didn't do anything with that guy , and plus you know you shouldn't believe what other people say about your bestfriend... so what if she said that? she said that , but its his decision if he believes and trusts you then anyone, and you know what... its only names.. it happens people get mad at people and they tend to call them names and hurt people , but people get over it , if they kicked you out of the group and didn't talk to you about it or work the problem out just kicked you out? really? what happened to that whole friendship you had ? I mean you tell one or two mean words about your friend and your kicked out of the ''group''? in my eyes, that is not what you call friends, friends real ones would talk it out and forgive eachother if they do that and kick you out.. I think its time to find new friends , sorry to say
Good luck :D
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it helps if you try to understand the situation from their point of view. How would you feel if your friend said mean things behind your back, then asked your best friend to keep it a secret from you? wouldn't you be hurt? "kayla" had a good reason to tell "rosie" because its what friends do. They look out for each other. Also know that if kayla did that for rosie, she would most likely do it for you too. So this means kayla isn't actually a bad friend.. she's just doing what she thought was the right thing to do, which was telling the truth. yeah you asked her not to say anything and yeah she probably broke that promise... but kayla didn't say "hey rosie you have to be mad at her now." Rosie told the truth.. but Rosie is the one that got upset. So you have no right to be mad at Kayla. She told the truth and that is what friends do. She didnt force Rosie to be mad at you..
Rosie has a good reason why she is mad at you. Maybe next time you'll think before you speak, especially when you're angry.
I suggest you speak with your friends and ask for their forgiveness one more time. Tell the the truth, and how sorry you are, how much you miss them, and that you'll never do it again. But if they don't accept your apology, then I would ignore them and find friends who are worth it. who respect you and who care about you.
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Talk to Rosie. If she is so hurt, it's probably because she cares about you a lot and it hurt her feelings when she heard that you said such mean stuff about her. Ask her if you two can talk, and then tell her everything that happened. Be completely honest and tell her how you feel and that you really didn't mean any of what you said, and that you just said it because of the heat of the moment. Let her know you understand if she still doesn't want to hang out with you, but you just hope she can forgive you. You should also consider talking to the others, too. It might be better to talk with them one-on-one, because many people say stuff whe they have their friends there than the would if they were by themselves. And work on forgiving Jackson, Kayla, and Libby, even though it might be hard, it always important to forgive. That way you can put all this behind you and move on. Good Luck!
-Millie :)
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