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troubling thoughts about carefree girlfriend
Hi there. I could really use some input from people who don't know me or my Girlfriend and won't tell me just what i want to hear.
To begin with, my girlfriend is 18, and I am 20, she's finishing high school this year and will be moving away.
We've been together for 3 months now, and things have been going fantastic, we spend as much time together as possible and just have a lot of fun together, we really care about each other.
Recently I've been having some troubling thoughts about her. The thing is, she is by nature a girl that gets along with guys really easily, and I know that every guy likes to flirt with girls - so when she gets along with a guy he starts to openly flirt with her, which kinda sucks to see happening, but i don't let it get to me.
For her recent birthday, I cooked her a fabulous roast lamb meal, and gave her a white gold necklace with a heart pendant on it, which cost me $260ish. while having this romantic evening, she had a couple of drinks, and thought it would be hilarious to talk to her friends on my facebook account, which was fine. while we were chatting there, she was saying about a party she had the night before, on her friends birthday (also hers) which i was not invited to. basically a few of her friends and some boys all got down to their underwear and got in a bath tub together, (she was not in it) but was making (what i assumed to be) jokes about how they should have invited her. this was kinda the first thing that bit me about that. also she kept telling me about how funny this particular guy was, and she was cooking hilarious things in the kitchen with him (they had all been drinking) and of course the natural thing for a guy to do is get a teency weency bit jealous.
after I was going to take her home that night(back to present time), I noticed she had taken her necklace off to have a shower, but hadn't put it back on, pretending not to see I tried to not let it get to me when she looked at it on the bench and didnt say anything about it. basically she went home without taking it with her.
When i told her today she had forgotten it, and i found it at home, she avoided it completely and talked about something else. after this, i saw she had made her facebook profile picture a photo of her and this other guy in the kitchen, cooking an omelette, and her hand was holding onto his arm.
Am I over reacting to this?
Pease help, I'm quite down in the dumps.
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Aww. You are just to cute. I should start by saying that a bunch of girls would love to have you as a boyfriend, and she should be very thankful to have you. And yes, it is normal to feel hurt about how your girlfriend wanted to be invited into that bathtub. But hey, when people have a few drinks, they tend to say stuff they normally woul never say when sober. So maybe she was just talking nonsense and didnt know what she was saying, but the most probale thing is, when you are drunk you tend to tell the truth without realizing it. It is important for you to have a girlfriend you can trust. If you don't really trust her I know it is hard to think that she might be cheating on you. Talk to her about this, and let her know that you care deeply for her, but aren't sure she feels the same way. Judging about how it goes, you should decide whether its healthy to keep going with this relationship. If she is sorry, give her a chance. As far as the necklace thing, don't give it back unless she asks for it and seems to want it, or she may lose it or something, and that would be tragic. GOOD LUCK!
-Millie :)
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You aren't over reacting. Best case senario is that she was being very rude and insensitive. Worse case is that she has already checked out of the relationship.
She's on a different page than you. $260 three months in is a huge expense and she wasn't feeling it.
Again -- the best case is that she didn't notice or understand what was important to you and why. But even in that best case, she isn't a good partner for you.
Personally, I can't see a logical way to think that this relationship isn't over in her mind, based on her behavior towards dinner and the gift.
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I would of told you that you were over looking the situation until I got to the last part of what you've said
Your girlfriend seems to be having second thoughts on the relationship, Nobody looks at a necklace their spouse got them to intentionally leave it behind and to ignore the subject when they are confronted about it. Your girlfriend's facebook pretty much gave it away when she put up a picture with another guy for everyone to see. I wouldn't of jumped to conclusions as sometimes people do put up pictures with friends on their facebook but what questions me is to why she would do it knowing that people may get the wrong impression? Unless of course she wanted to give off the impression she was dating someone else. Perhaps this could of been her hint too you? I don't know. The reason why I do think so is because the whole necklace thing also points to the fact that she may just be tired and not happy. The only thing you can really do is talk to her about it, Communicating is the key to working through things in a relationship. It sucks that she isn't being upfront about how she feels but maybe she doesn't know how to go about it but I think you already know the answer to your question. You stated that she was drinking the night she was hanging around the other dude. Do you know if anything happened between the two of them? Now you could confront your girlfriend about this but there is no guarantee she will admit to what happened. Alcohol tends to think for itself, Not everyone has control of their actions when they are drunk but you know what? They do have control over how much they take in. I think you deserve better, Honestly. You sound like an awesome guy but this girl is just not on the same page as you.
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