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How to calm myself after sex
21 female
I've had sex once, and it was amazing. It wasn't with a boyfriend or anyone though. By anyways, after I had sex I freaked out making myself think I was pregnant for no reason. I'm on birth control, have been for years now and I always take it the same time. And I'd always always always use a condom BUT i just don't think I can calm down any time after having sex. I don't know why I'll always think something went wrong and I got pregnant.
Even if I'm with someone I like or even love, I still feel like I'd be like this. Does it mean I shouldn't be having sex then? Does anyone else feel this way? After I had sex for the first time I actually felt sick to my stomach because I was freaking myself out.
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You're 21.
Most kids lose their virginities during teenagehood. This has the interesting side effect of reducing worry, because teenagers think they're invincible and nothing bad could ever happen to them. By the time these teens hit your age, they've been having sex for years without worrying about pregnancy outside of missed period scares and the like.
You, just starting, are starting without that teenaged myth of invincibility. You're looking at it as an adult with an adults worries and without the surety born of having had sex a bunch and not having had anything bad happen to you.
So yes, it's normal. It should lessen as you sleep with someone you trust and care about, and as you get used to the fact that birth control really is 100% for most people when used correctly.
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This is definitely a pretty normal feeling, especially if your having sex with someone who's not your boyfriend or who your not completely 110% comfortable with. My advice to you would be to seriously sit down with yourself after you've had sex and basically reassure yourself that your not going to be pregnant because your not going to be if your on the pill and using condoms. I mean, its not guaranteed that you won't get pregnant but think about it, birth control is usually 99% positive for preventing pregnancy (you can find this information on your birth control perscription) and condoms are also about 90% positive at preventing pregnancy (this information can be found on the box). So if your using both as you say you are then you are very protected.
Also, I used to get nervous after sex with guys that I wasn't dating because they wouldn't have cared if I got pregnant and I knew they wouldn't be any help to me if I did get pregnant. Once you find a guy who you are very comfortable with and who maybe you even come to love, you should feel a lot more comfortable because you know that they will love you no matter what and they will be able to help you god forbid something ever did go wrong and you ever did end up pregnant.
I think it's a hard thing to get over but you are being very safe and responsible so you really shouldn't be worried. I've been much less safe then you, I actually only use condoms because I can't use the pill and I've never had any close calls in the 6 years that Ive been sexually active. Good luck sweetie!!
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My unprofessional thoughts are you still at age 21 have some type of concerns about premarital sex and possible pregnancy. Even though you have taken all precautions against pregnancy that limit you to a .01% chance of becoming pregnant. For some reason this is still a major concern for you when it should be more of just a concern. If you were 16 I would not be concerned. Being 21 my concern is that either for religious or other moral reasons you have a concern about premarital sex.
To have a moral reason against premarital sex is not wrong. If you do have a reason for not having premarital sex and are having sex for reasons of say, to keep a boyfriend or other reasons you feel are immoral; then you have a conflict of conscious that you need to resolve.
If as I said; my very unprofessional reasoning is wrong. Then I suggest you might want to consult a professional therapist to find out what may be bothering you. You have done all the right things to prevent pregnancy. Your chances of becoming pregnant are minimal, but possible. Even so you should be able to relax and at your age enjoy a worry free sex life.
We each have our own standards, morals and limitations. No one should force you to do something against these or tell you they are wrong. They are yours and that makes them right. If you have concerns that you are wrong or right and cannot resolve the conflict within you yourself then you seek advice of a professional. That professional can be a member of your Church Clergy, you family doctor or a therapist.
For you own best interest and piece of mind you need to resolve this conflict or what ever is causing you to be so sick after sex.
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When i had sex the first time i felt the same way, its perfectly normal for you to react in that way. You said you are on birth control and that you use condoms all the time yuou have sex, if that is the case the is nothing to worry about. Every girls first instict after sex is that they are pregnant, unless you have had unprocted sex or something went wrong with the condom there nothing for you to worry about
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