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What to do about relationship with coach that hit a downfall
I am a collegiate athlete and have been on my team for three years. I have always had a solid relationship with my coach and my teammates have commented randomly that they can tell my coach tends to have her favorites and that I'm definitely one of them. She does a good job of making everyone feel included and important to the team, but there are some people who she has gotten to know more. Over the last few weeks, however, she's been unhappy with me.
She told me in front of a couple other teammates (outside of the team context, though, so not during practice) that I look like a bitch sometimes. I think she realized she stepped the line because she clarified that I just don't tend to smile all the time. It took me aback.
There were other instances, but mainly it was just abrupt interactions with her. We're out for the summer, and never resolved anything (although honestly I don't know what could've been done, other than surprising her with a "you make me feel bad" conversation).
I suppose I could've formulated this question better. A part of me wants someone to tell me that I'm not a bad teammate/person and that my coach was out of line. But really what I want and need to know is how to deal with this situation. It's made me question myself and I feel so raw and full of self-doubt.
Thanks for any input!
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Sometimes coaches use harsh words and language to spur their athletes. She may feel she's not getting your best performance and its coming out in a bitchy way. I know its uncomfortable, but I think before you take any other action you should talk to her first. Since you say you have a solid relationship, I think its perfectly acceptable for you to have a one on one conversation. It doesn't have to be that deep. Just tell her you've been sensing that she's not happy with you lately and you'd like to know if you've done something wrong. Give her a chance to explain. It might not be that big of a deal to her and she just doesn't realize how deeply its hurt. Or it may be that she just hasn't been able to find a way to tell you she is noticing a change in your play. Whatever it is, you'll never know if you don't ask, and that leaves you filling in the blanks on your own. And, as you can see, that leads to a lot of hurt feelings on your part. Have the conversation, if it doesn't help, then consider other avenues. Good Luck!
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Your coach was out of line, If something bothered her she should of found another ways of putting it too words. Calling one of her students a "bitch" or implying that you are one is highly inappropriate and could cause the coach her job.
If your coach continues to harass you I would definitely look into reporting her actions. It is not appropriate to treat anyone unfairly because you not "smiling" makes her unhappy. She is glad I'm not on the team because I also never smile now does that make me a bitch?..No, I just again never smile.
You be yourself don't let others behavior and actions define who you are, but I do suggest reporting her the next time she pulls such a stunt.
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