|
How can I gain my mom's trust back?
My parents recently found out that me and my boyfriend have smoked weed together before. After getting caught, we swore to each other (for the sake of our relationship) that we wouldn't smoke weed at all until we're eighteen. How can I get my mother to believe that we are being legitimate? She also doesn't trust me and thinks that I will get sexually involved with him in all the wrong ways, but we have both established our boundaries (no sex until we have been dating for a year, but we are both open to fooling around and oral sex and such). I have always gotten good grades and still do, I am respectful, and my mom has always trusted me. I need that trust back. How can I go about acquiring that?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
First please don't confuse trust and love. While you may have lost you moms' trust I doubt you have lost her love. As a parent myself there are many things my children can do to loose my respect; I can think of nothing they can do to loose my love.
To gain moms respect back you need to show her that you are respectful of her wishes. Getting good grades, helping out around the house, doing as she ask of you without argument all help. Time is the only other factor. It will take time for mom to begin to trust you again.
Smoking weed was a big error in judgment on your part. It does not matter if the weed was yours or your boyfriends. Whether you smoked the weed because your boyfriend urged you too or because you really wanted too. What your parents saw and what I see is you did something you knew was wrong and you did it anyway. We are asking ourselves what will happen the next time you are faced with the same choice.
My biggest worry was never drugs, it was alcohol. I was always worried they would drink and drive or get in a car with someone that had been drinking. I have always said to my kids, if you drink we will discuss that in the morning, but call me and I will come get you wherever you are. Thankfully they have always called and yes we did discuss their drinking. I never yelled and I never punished for in the end they did what I asked of them.
These are the concerns of a parent when a child lets them down and does something they know is wrong but do it anyway. It won't be easy; it will take time; but you can earn your parents respect back.
I would suggest as a first step you sit down with you mom and tell her how hurt you are that you have lost her respect. While I'm sure you have apologized for what has happened you need to tell her again that you plan never to let something like this happen again. Tell her how import having her trust and respect is to you and ask her what you need to do to earn that trust and respect back. Then work hard to do those things.
You sound like your a good daughter and a typical teenager. You made an error in judgement. It won't be the first and it won't be your last. Hopefully you can learn from this and limit the number of judgement errors you make in your lifetime.
]
Being in these kind of situations myself, the only
thing really is time. Be respectful, don't miss curfew & that sort of thing and it should help. I used to get in trouble a lot growing up for such small things.
Hope this helps and good luck:)
]
More Questions: |