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Closet Crisis.
hi everyone. I have a bit of an issue. Im gay. and i like this guy. he is about everthing i could want in a man. Tall, charming, and cute. We have been talking for about two weeks or so. There is only one problem. He is still in the closet. Big time. He is a member of the christian organization at our school ( im not religious), and is part of the track team. So i can see why he has never told anyone. But my question is, Should i continue with him, or should i not. I dont want to be in a relationship that i cant talk about, and be honest about, but i like him,
and i want to be with him, i just dont want to have to hide a relationship. So any advice would be helpful, because im so confused O_o?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Dating someone who is still in the closet, basically means climbing back in the closet yourself.
If you were an adult, my advice would be to explain to him, gently, that the relationship wont be able to last for too long if he remains in the closet - but as you are teenagers, its' a bit of a different story. Although 'coming out' is always desirable - there are conditions on young people that can make it really risky, even dangerous, to live honestly.
So what do you do? At this point you have to decide what you can live with. You could try talking to him about how he sees his life progressing, and what risks he sees to be out in the future. Is he planning on staying this way just for high school, or just for college? Is he planning on NEVER telling his family? Knowing some of his thoughts about it will help you know what you are in for if you stick around.
If what you have is a great guy - who wants to be honest and has a plan in place that will get him to a place where he can live honestly and safely - that might be worth it to you to hide the relationship for the time being.
If what you've got is a guy who is a chicken shit living a double life, who never plans on being honest with those closest to him, and sees no problem with lending his strength and voice to religious organizations that damn homosexuals and spread hate - then you should walk away right now.
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I would stay friends with him until school is over. He may be a little more willing to come out once school is over. If you're going to be in a relationship, you should be 100% happy, not
%50 happy. Don't be afraid to date someone else and that could make him realize that he could lose you in the long run. Always do what makes you happy. I hope this helps and good luck.
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