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He doesnt want me at his shows!?
I've been talking to this guy.. We hang out a lot.. we like eachother.. we have sex... were getting to know eachother before make a jump into a relationship. Anyway he's in a hip hop group and they travel everywhere and do shows. The other day ago they had a local show and I asked if I could go and he told me it wasn't a good idea. He likes to keep his personal life and music separate. What do you think of that?
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So basically, you're giving him all the perks of being in a relationship without him actually being committed to you?
I agree with Matt, it sounds to me like he's leading you on. I can't speak for them all but I'm pretty sure most musicians like having their family and friends at their shows for support. But hey, maybe he is one of those people who really does prefer to keep things separate.
It sounds to me like you need to have a conversation with him. There is absolutely no point continuing with this 'getting to know you' thing if it's going nowhere.
In future, if you're still 'getting to know someone' before you 'jump into a relationship', DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THEM! You have sex with them, you lay all your cards on the table and you've given everything away. There are few guys who will respect a girl who is willing to sleep with them straight away. One of my friends has been with her boyfriend for two years and she wanted to sleep with him straight away. He's admitted that if she had, he would have lost respect for her and not got into a relationship.
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I think you're being misled. He doesn't really seem to have an incentive for getting into a relationship with you; you're already fuck buddies. He gets the perks of having someone that's DTF without having to go the extra mile of being in a relationship.
"We're getting to know each other before [we] make a jump into a relationship." Whose words are those, yours or his? I suspect they're his.
I mean, it's entirely possible that he really does want to keep his music life separate from his personal life. I don't know this guy, I'm sure it could be true. But it just rings of BS. You've admitted to not knowing him very well, it's possible he could have something to hide at one of his shows, like a legitimate girlfriend. I'm really only speculating and I don't mean to put a damper on what seems to be a perfectly good friends with benefits scenario, but from what you've said, it sounds like you want more. And from what I read, it doesn't seem like he's interested in providing it.
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I think its entirely his decision.
If he doesn't want you there, well that's his choice. You can't/shouldn't force him to make you go.
If you want you 2 to work out and have a good relationship with him, you need to respect his decisions.
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