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depression over family stuff.
i have been having random outbursts at people because of the stuff that they do not like. im male and 19 years old. so one day, my mom talks to me about school tests and i had gotten mad over something , so then i went downstairs. the next day, she didnt speak nor talk or look at me. it was really hurting me.so then i went outside yesterday and i had mistakenly come late. so like my dad comes in and starts yelling at me at how i didnt close the bag of a loaf of bread right. i had gotten pissed off and he had hit me with the bag for no apparent reason. i didnt say anything to make him angry at me. i had went back to my room and started crying at how my mother never speaks to me or looks at me because of my behavior. now both my parents are always talking garbage and how im gonna get kicked out of school in june. its really depressing to me because i always lose interest in fun things, i cant sleep at night, i dont feel like coming back home. i am scared to go outside or tell somebody, what should i do?? im so sad i feel like hurting myself.
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As voice of reason wrote there are to many gaps in your information to give you any definitive advise.
What I did pick up on was " im so sad i feel like hurting myself." This is a red flag that bothers me a great deal. You need to get help for this feeling.
You are 19 as such you are not required to tell your parents that you are feeling this way, but you should so they can help you. Should you decide not to tell them and you are feeling this way there are three things you could do.
You can call 911 and ask for help which is the best and fastest way to get help. If you would like to speak with someone then you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate a Suicide hotline, 24/7 that is free and confidential, with a nationwide network of crisis centers they can refer you to. The third option is to go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room and ask for help.
It is easy to spot that you are fighting some form of depression. Whether the depression is chronic or just a normal form of depression can't be diagnosed over a website. The one problem with any type or depression is when we are in a depressed mood we see thing differently then what they may really be. If we perceive something incorrectly it kind of perpetuates are down mood causing the cycle to continue.
If you are at a place where you are thinking of hurting yourself then you need to reach out for help. Please reach out to one of the places I have given you. With their help things will get better and life will be good again.
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There are too many gaps in your narrative for me to have any idea how to answer your question.
The only thing, if this is even possible, you can do given the info you have thus far presented would be to sit down with your mom and dad and try to talk things out calmly so that you can get on the same page with them.
Before you do that, though, you might get some counseling so that you can sort out your feelings beforehand. Plus the counselor can give you some strategies on how to discuss those issues with your folks.
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I know it's hard and you feel like giving up, but dont !
have you ever tried talking to your mom ? like, one on one ? maybe that could help and you guys could talk about whats going on, especially with your dad.
maybe you could even try talking to your dad, very civily about everything and that you would like to work on this to make things better for all of you.
parents arent as wise as we think, yes theyve had many more years of experience than us, but theyre only human.. they make mistakes. those mistakes being that you are being verbally, physically, and emotionally abused lately and you have every right in the world to feel upset right now, but let that motivate you.. not depress you.
prove them wrong and do your best in school. show them that you WONT be getting kicked out of school in june and that youre doing all you can.
however, you should go to a therapist, even suggest it to your parents, because i really think it would benefit you. you could talk about your problems and you could easily find the solutions within yourself by getting help from a doctor and you could also tell that person in confidence about how you are being abused.
i know youre scared to go outside, but fight your fears, but dont fight yourself. you need to stay strong and look on the bright side, tomorrow is always a brand new day :] and hurting yourself will just make you feel worse.. and it would probably make your parents feel like theyve failed you.. sometimes when parents take their anger out on their kids its because they are taking their anger out, so group therapy, even FAMILY therapy would be a good idea.
just dont hurt yourself. there are so many people who care about you in this world.. your friends, family, and yes.. both of your parents care about you.. although it might not seem like it at times, just keep reminding yourself that they do.
everyone goes through rough times, but you can overcome this. i promise; you could write down your feelings.. make them into songs, poems, stories or draw them out.. scream into a pillow.. anything BUT hurting yourself just because you feel sad.
this will pass. you WILL be happy again, you just have to seek help.
good luck ! hope i helped, keep your head held high and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me ! xxo.
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