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Here's the dilema...
My ex of three and a half years just got back home for leave from the military and has been trying to get a hold of me for the past few months. The problem is he dumped me on Valentine's Day and broke my heart after waiting over 6 mths for him. Now since he's back we ran into each other at the store of course since it's a small town. We decided to go grab a bite to eat and I just wanted to see how he was doing because ultimately I still care about him. One thing led to another and we started kissing. And now he's saying he wants me back... I'm so confused... My parents can't stand him but I believe I'm responsible enough to know what's best for me. I work and go to school full time. I still love him deeply and think I want to give it another shot even though he hurt me before. Is it bad to go ahead and give it another shot, or should I just pretend like the whole kiss meant nothing? Should I let my parents views affect that of who I date. Please help me!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You know, this is a time when you are probably better off to listen to your parents. There is a famous thing guys in the military do... and this sounds like it. Let me predict what is going to happen next:
You two will get together, you will have sex, which for him is cheaper than a prostitute while he is on leave, then when it is time for him to be deployed again, he will tell you something about how he thought it would work out, but it isn't... and he will dump you again when he leaves.
Then next time he is back, he will contact you again, casually, and try the same thing.
I hope you don't fall for this, but the way you write about this it sounds like true love on your part, so I am afraid you won't listen and will get hurt again.
As for your parents, well, this isn't about responsibility, it is about life experience. Your parents have been around long enough to know this is probably a scam, and he is probably using you for sex until he leaves again.
I hope it works out differently for you, but I have heard this story many, many times.
Would you please let me know in feedback what you decide to do and how it works out? I am really worried about you.
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There are clearly still feelings on both sides that haven't been expressed.
Ultimately what you do is your decision. Only you can truly know whether he's worth taking the risk.
Perhaps it's worth talking to him about it. Before starting ANYTHING up again let him know that he really hurt you and you wont set yourself up for that again. Ask him his reasons for hurting you like that. Let him know that it's not okay.
It's important to know each others expectations if you DID get back together. What would that mean? How would his military career affect your relationship? Do you care for each other enough to make it work? Will he do to you what he did last time?
Ensure that you establish these important things before starting anything again. Once you have heard everything you have needed to hear you can make a decision based on both logic and emotion.
He owes you an explanation. And if he has no intention of honouring any kind of relationship with you then he has no business kissing you in the first place.
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You parents are obviously looking out for your best interest, but if you sincere think you can look out for your self, they you need to review the reasons why he dumped you at first and why he now wants you back, if they both way positively then go with what your heart is telling you, after all everyone deserves a second chance. Be more alart so you dont get dumped again.
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