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i cant seem to get myself off :(
im 18 female and i cant seem to find any way to pleasure myself. Ive tried fingering myself and touching myself but its not pleasant to me at all :( the only thing that seems to give me any sort of pleasure is 'pillow sex' where you basically rub yourself against or ride a pillow. Even then i cum but i can never have an orgasm. Im worried that (being a virgin) that the first time i have sex or let a guy finger or go down on me that i will be left with a very embarrassing situation, and that i wont be able to orgasm in any form of sexual activity. I do however know that a large percentage of women arent able to have orgasm through penetration, and that it usually involves foreplay to make a them orgasm. But i dont know if even that will work on me! Im also worried when the time comes that the guy im with will ask me how i can get him to pleasure me, and i wont know!
help :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
The main thing is that you don't feel obligated to orgasm for somebody else's benefit. The orgasms are FOR YOU. Yeah, the guy will be focused on getting you off (if he is a considerate lover) because sex is the most fun when she is enjoying it.
So just relax and take your time. Play with your clitoris. Sometimes it can take a few minutes for you to get off. Use your index fingers and rub it in circles or rub it underneath your fingers or whatever feels good. You can also put a couple of fingers inside you and rub the upper wall of your vaginal canal just inside the opening. You will initially feel an urge to urinate, but that will soon be replaced by much more pleasant feelings.
There is nothing evil or dirty about this. Take deep breaths, let your body go limp and focus on the sensations from your clit.
Good luck. You have plenty of time to work this issue out. So take whatever time you need.
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I think you're mind isn't letting your body have fun. You're way to worried about having the orgasm before you even get started. You can try watching a little porn on redtube.com or xhamster.com and discover what things turn you on. Another thing to try, is take a nice hot relaxing shower or bath. Let your hands caress your body and try to think relaxing thoughts. After you're dry, lay on the bed and lightly touch your whole body but don't go directly for the clit. Squeeze your breast and tease the nipple. You can work your way down and touch your clit but don't start rubbing hard yet. You may want to find something to use as a dildo, like a candle or anything else that resembles a fake penis. If you can't find one, use one or two fingers as a substitute. Finger yourself and rub your clit slowly. Your body should know when to start rubbing faster and hopefully you'll be able to orgasm. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask. I hope this helps and good luck.
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Hello!
You have nothing to be embarrassed about.. If you do a Google search, you'll find that many women do the same thing you do to help them orgasm! In my opinion, if you're worried about being with a guy and not being able to orgasm, try the 'cowgirl' position. Do a Google search on the various positions women utilize to help them climax. I can tell you you'll find many useful articles. Good luck!
Uniq :)
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There is nothing to worry about hun. There are so many ways to pleasure your self through toys and that but having an intercourse is a total different feeling which when you experience doesn't actually guarantee an orgasm as you know but with your partner you can get to know what stimulates and pleasures each other. Don't be hard on your self because you dont know, you are not expected to as everyone enjoys sex in different ways so you just need to understand what stimulates you and dont be afraid to try new things. If your partmer is patience enough am sure he will be happy to go gentle and help you realise other things that seems pleasant to you.
Till today most women are still trying different way to discover what stimulates them to orgasm. There a lots of books out there that you can also read to help.
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