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Additional info for 1st Cousins Wedding
Thank you very much for your response and I realize how that could have a large impact. However, my son is actually the oldest of the second cousins. 6 months older than *AA1 who will be a flower girl and 4 yrs older than *AA2 (the brides godchild). As for my aunt-she actually has two children. A 4yr old who will be the ring bearer and a 2.5yr old. Both of which who were included on the invitation because they are in fact first cousins--even though they are the same age as *AA's children and my son who are second cousins. One day while at my aunts house we were talking about the wedding and she mentioned that she hadnt even opened her invitation yet and proceeded to do so in front of me. She then read aloud from a Post-It note inside that explained the two different meal choices for children. I then said my invitation did not include one of those and that is when her and my Grandmother began to explain to me the second cousin rule and how if the bride-to-be invited my son then she would have to invite all the other second cousins. There are 20+ second cousins on her other side that are not invited; virtually a generation. But on our side only my son is being excluded. I guess my real question then is this~ Is it too much to ask that an exception be made for a 5yr old to attend a wedding with the cousins he plays with at every other family event? Is it asking too much for that exception to be made when such an exclusive circumstance has been created? And why does no other member of my family believe I have the right to take this personally? I am not planning to go as of now because when the pictures for our side of the family are taken--my son will be the only one not there. And not because he couldnt make it but because the rules had to be followed no matter the cost or feelings hurt. Maybe I am being way too sensitive. I guess that is why I came to this site-so I could get as much feedback as possible! Thank You All For Your Time and Honesty!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
It is little things that cause big family problems. I understand you are hurt and I would agree you have reason to be; given what you have written. Is there more to this than you are aware or is it simply an over site on the part of the wedding planners? Hard questions to answer.
Do you owe the bride a reason for not attending? NO, not unless you are specifically asked. Should you tell the bride why you are not attending? This is where a rift in the family matrix can grow larger than it may already be. My advise is to let it be. You can be the bigger person here if the bride or wedding planner does not realize they have slighted you by leaving your son out when all of his cousins are attending. My same advise goes for asking why your son was left out.
I come from a very small family and can say that when it comes to hurt feelings things grow out of proportion disproportionately. One member of the family is not talking to another member of the family and if you talk them, then that member won't talk to you and so it grows. For what, all because of something that is usually an oversight or forgotten and the other person takes it to heart.
I would say forget about the oversight, and take it at that. Buy your son something nice to make up for it and go enjoy the wedding with the rest of the family.
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