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forbiden and not forbidin <<< Previous Question
Next Question >>> i need advice on how to answer him

Trying to see where I stand with this guy


Question Posted Friday April 22 2011, 3:14 am

Okay. Well. Lemme give you the backstory. Me and my roommate went to Foot Locker to buy stuff for her boyfriends birthday and we met this guy that we see on campus in there (he works there)and so when we were checking out, i asked him if he goes to my university, and he said "yeah, howd you know?" and i said "we see you at the black parties and at the gym" and he replied "oh yeah i train at the gym sometimes" and then continued with small talk.
So later, I asked my neighbor if he knew him, and he does, but i told him not to say anything cause i didnt want to act like im in 8th grade passing messages but he said something anyway:
He asked his coworker where the guy was when he went into foot locker for shoes, and said "oh well my neighbor wants to holla at him"
and the coworker replied " Which one?"
My neighbor: "The white girl"
Coworker" Mann. You know he dont do the white girls. hes never even kissed a white girl in his life"
Then after he told me that, it wasnt a big deal, I wasn't his type so nbd.
but then, last weekend, my neighbor calls and wakes us up asking if we want to go to the mall with him and his roommate and we do, so we get dressed, we look nice cause its a saturday and were going out.
and we ran into the guy and his friend walking to the food court. we said hi, but then the boys had their own separate conversation.
Then my roommate and i sat down to eat lunch and the guy left, but he came back, and apparently behind us, they were pointing at me like "is that the girl?" and my neighbor gave him a thumbs up, asking "is she good?" and he smiled, then looked at me again. My neighbor said he did a triple look at me, then we were properly introduced to eachother.
Then that night we saw him at the party, but we all had to pee so i was being tugged along to the bathroom and the guy passed us by and tried to give me a hug but since i was moving, he just like grazed my lower back and grabbed my shirt. it was an epic fail of a hug.

After that horribly long story, I'm wondering from an outside perspective if this situation sounds promising? I'm gonna continue to talk to him and get to know him. Thank you if you help me out.


[ Answer this question ]
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bakahaido answered Monday April 25 2011, 12:11 am:
i hope im not blunt, but i think the guy was just being nice. no matter if you're his type or not, a guy would feel flattered if a girl likes him. So the double look was probably acknowledging that 'oh, this is the girl that likes me'. the awkward hug, too, was him acknowledging that he knows you and he's being friendly.
all hope is not lost though. if you like him, 'stumble' upon him more, get to know him, chat more, then maybe he'll find out that you're his type after all.
Good Luck, i hope this helps.

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bewise answered Friday April 22 2011, 3:31 am:
Hi, Yes it does sound promising, but it does sound like a lot of 8th grade games, so you would benefit from making a mature move, like going in and seeing him at work by yourself one day, and asking him if he wants to eat lunch with you, so it is just you and him.

That way you can see what he is really like, without lots of silly stuff going on with your friends/his friends, etc.

Ask him lots of interesting questions, like:
Where did you grow up and what was it like?

What do you get up to on the weekends/ in the evenings?

What movies/music do you like?

What is the best thing that has happened to you?

What is the weirdest thing one of your family members has done?

If you had unlimited money and knew you could never fail at whatever you tried, what would you want to do in your life?


Make the questions the type that he can't answer with just a yes or a no, for a better conversation.

Also, so what if he has never dated a white girl?
He may just have never had the chance. He probably dates nice girls, regardless of their race. Give him the benefit of the doubt, until proven otherwise.

I hope this helps! i would love to hear how you get on with him and what happens! please feel free to leave me a comment, or ask another question through my column if you would like!

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