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Can I date this guy if it compromises a friendship?
I met a guy a short time ago and we ended up making out and exchanging numbers. I found out later that he is my friends ex and that she still likes him.
He came to my house for a party and tried to hook up with me again but I said no because my friend would be angry with me. We ended up hugging/cuddling the whole night.
My friend saw us hugging and got angry. I talked to her later and she told me that I should go for it and that she didn't want to get in the way of anything. I could tell she was still angry though. She was not acting angry and our conversation was normal. She did add in that she wouldn't hang out with me and the guy together ever again though. She would with just me or just him only not together.
She also told me that he likes me and that I shouldn't hurt him or break his heart. I am undecided if I like him as a person or just the idea of having him as a boyfriend.
Should I go for it?
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I have to agree with Samantha.
Communication is everything. Try to explain to him what situation you are in.
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no, dont got for it. your friend does still like him and she wants you to be happy so she was trying to put her feelings aside and tell you to go for it. he does like you though so maybe you should have a talk with him and tell him how you feel about the whole situtation so he knows that its not him.
Good Luck!
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Don't go for it. Your friend clearly still likes the guy alot. Just let it be for now, perhaps after sometime, depending on your friends attitude and feelings you can hook up with the guy. Friendships always come first. If you date this guy now things will change between you and your friend for sure. You won't be comfortable teling her about your dates, etc...etc with this guy.
Just chill for a while. Friendships first, don't be fooled by your friend's words encouraging you to go for it. Deep down she's hurting and she expects you to know that it hurts her to see you with her ex even though she says different then do the right thing by her. Her Actions speak louder than her words. Besides you don't even know if you like the guy as a person or boyfriend for sure. You might find out later that you never realy liked the guy in the first place, but things will have already changed with your friend.
Just wait a while, your friendship is far more important.
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If I were in your position, I wouldn't. Obviously, it's up to you though.
I think your friend still likes him and is trying to be a good friend to you by saying you should go for him.
I always put my friendships first regardless of what my friends say because at some point, it'd mess things up. Maybe not now, but it might in the future.
If you really think that you're friend does not mind at all that you two will be dating then go ahead but I'm sure you could find another guy who won't get in the way of a friend.
Also, if you do decide that you might want to give him a chance, wait until you know your feelings. You're still not sure if you if you like him as a person or just the idea of having him as a boyfriend. Figure all that stuff out before you get into something and end up regretting it.
Good luck!
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I'm thinking you shouldn't. It's about loyalty, her feelings and what relationship came first. Your friendship always has to outlast anything else.
She may say she's okay with it but it's clear she's not telling the truth. after all, she was annoyed at first and still has feelings for him. Until you know how deep those feelings may or may not still run back off.
It's a bad idea to get with a friend's former lover period. Maybe you should reat him as hands off. Ask how you would feel if it were vice-versa.
If you do go for it this means that almost all social events that would involve him being around as your boyfriend would mean she wouldn't be in your life--perhaps period if you run in same circles. Worth losing her over someone you just met?
If you go for it you have to know this can and likely will happen with her as it's too difficult for her no matter what she says.
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