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gossip vs private converstion


Question Posted Tuesday March 15 2011, 10:37 pm

I work in a department where most employee have been there 10 years of more, an new employee started and seems to have problems understanding that we have developed friendship and have private conversation that we do not feel we need to include them in. I do not feel that they have a understanding as to the difference of gossip and private conversation. Many times they have accuse us of gossiping; large egos!! How do we explain this clearly? It is getting old fast!

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Razhie answered Wednesday March 16 2011, 5:00 pm:
You are at work. Some workplaces are not conducive or welcoming to 'private conversations'. Most places I have ever worked would not be.

Perhaps in the past this behavoir wasn't a problem, but just because has never been a problem before, doesn't mean it's completely okay.

You should take your private conversations someplace else. Have a girl's night out. Take lunch together off site. When I have something private to speak of to a co-worker who is also a friend, we take a walk to the coffee shop.

She's new and your 'private conversations' might not be gossiping - but they are still rude and unwelcoming towards a new individual - not the kind of workplace anyone wants to be in. Perhaps she is also an annoying busybody who you don't want to include, but no matter what her temperament is or faults are, she would probably be happier to respect your conversations, if you started by being a bit more inclusive and respectful of the shared workspace.

I very honestly don't think she is the only one who is being rude or large ego'd here. Your workplace isn't your social club - private socializing it not a realistic expectation while you're on the clock unless security and privacy are things you require in order to do your job properly. To create a healthy work environment you need to be able to respect and allow for others to be included and exist as equals, regardless of friendships that might exist.

Take the parts of your friendship which must be kept private, out of the work environment, where they belong.

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xomegaroni answered Wednesday March 16 2011, 11:04 am:
Gossiping is talking about someone and their problems behind their back. It's hard to tell the difference but you should just tell them to butt out.

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