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My brother hurts my mom and sister
I am 29 yrs old with a family of my own. My mom, step dad, 20 yr old brother and 19 yr old sister live together. My mom is with my step dad while he's in the hospital. So sis has been cooking, cleaning and going to college everyday. I think its crazy but she has to tell my brother repeatedly to eat, take a shower,and get ready things like that or mom will fuss at her when she comes home. Cause he is so lazy he forgets to do these things. My little sister texted me yesterday stating my brother slapped her across the face and told her to shut her mouth. Even though mom was there. Mom didn't pay any attention. i don't know what she might have said to him but its not right. He calls her bad names especially when moms gone. She told me of one time where he got mad at mom and choked her. he has pulled the phone cord out of the wall so much to keep them from calling the police the phone cracks now. He sneakingly takes my sisters cell phone away from her before he slaps her. So she wont call the cops. He don't have his license. he is so spoiled and lazy.He don't have to do anything but play computer games all day and do some school work. he's even trying to get an extension on his college classes. Hes prob not capable of living on his own. I confronted mom about him in the past and she got mad at me to the point we didn't talk for at least a week. I have thought about telling my sister next time he does anything like that especially choking or things like. for her to call me and I will contact the police. with my step-dad being in the hospital.I don't want to cause trouble. But he will wind up hurting somebody bad. Also, my step dad before he was in the hospital he turned a blind to it all. What do you guys think i should do? Thanks Bunches
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Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and the following is my view and suggestion(s).
Every state has some type of domestic violence laws. A liberal definition of domestic violence is anyone who cohabit-ates with another and harms that other person; it has nothing to do with family or a marriage relationship.
Now every state have different views on how the police can respond and action they can take on a domestic violence call. In many states if the police can see evidence of the violence they will arrest the person with the least amount of harm. In other states, if the police do not actually see the violence in progress, all the police can do is separate the parties and suggest to the person that is harmed the most that they go to district court and file charges. Once the charges are filed and accepted by the Court or District Attorney then an Arrest Warrant is issued.
Your mother and sister are suffering battered women syndrome. If you or someone else doesn't step in they may be seriously hurt by your brother, as he is abusive and out of control. While the evidence, that being the marks on your sisters body, are still somewhat fresh you can do any of the following.
You can call the police and ask them to meet you at your Aunt's house. If you live in a state where the police can take action based on evidence then you will not have to file charges, the police will.
You can also take your sister to a hospital emergency room for treatment of her injuries and to make sure that no other harm other than just bruising has occurred. In most states if a doctor suspect that your sister is suffering from some type of domestic violence they are required to report this to the police. This way takes you are out the picture and makes the doctor the heavy.
You can also go to the police yourself. You can explain to them what is happening and that your brother is abusing you mother and sister. I am not sure just what action the police can take based on your telling. They most certainly can go have a talk with your brother and inform him of what will happen should they receive a domestic violence call involving him. What I am sure of is this will just anger him more.
You may be instructed to go to the court and take out a peace bond on him which would force him out of the house and to stay a certain distance from your mom and sister. This is always an option you can take. Of course if he doesn't move out he is in violation of the peace bond and subject to arrest.
There is one other option available that I have serious reservation you brother will do voluntarily; which is to attend anger management classes and psychological counseling. This option is generally something imposed by the courts as an alternative to jail. You have nothing to loose by approaching your brother with this option and saying; it is anger management and counseling or your options will be to chose one of the other choices available to you.
You are in a no win situation but you are also in a fight that needs to be fought for the sake of you mom and sister. I wish I could tell you which is the best direction to follow; unfortunately I can't. The choice is one you will have to make based on what you feel will have the outcome you believe will be best for your mom and sister.
Good look and I and the others are here should you need any other support.
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Your mother could be ignoring the fact that her son is abusive, It's her son. No parent wants to except that their child is abusive. Your mother is intimidated and she is blocking it out. If your sister does not have a ride to the police station, Then take her down there yourself. If the situation is so bad to the point where there is no cell phone available then tell her to get a tape recorder, It never hurts to have proof but your sister NEEDS to report the situation to the police as soon as possible. Your brother has tried choking people, This can be considered attempted murder and you need to look at it as is. Do not wait, Report it immediately.
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