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do i have a right to be ticked off at my parents?
background information: i am 17 i have a job and a busy life. I love animals. I am a slob. I spend one third of my life grounded for dumb stuff such as a messy room, eating the last bit of cereal, leaving my shoes out, or taking my stepmothers shampoo.( mind you i am 17 years old )
today my stepmother decided to go in my room and take my charger. When she did my room was messy. Now the first friday ive had off in months im grounded. Also the sick cat that ive been taking care of and have paid 400 dollars in vet bills i have to give away. Last one more screw up and im grounded for the whole summer and not allowed to go on my mission trip or trip to chicago that ive paid for and i have to quit my job.
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I dont really have advice but I really think your stepmom is a wicked %^&* and I think you should clean your room and get it done.. its easier when things are tidy and organized youll feel better trust me!!
Does your dad stick up for u at all.. wheres mom??
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and somehow maybe the wisdom of my age may be relevant here.
Rahzie has given you some good advice as has marinemom3. While I don't know them personally I do know them from there answers to questions and generally they are right on point.
Sure teenagers are messy, I practically went bald trying to get my son to keep his room clean. My wife's advice was to just close his door and ignore. Today when I visit his apartment I wonder where my son went, you can practically eat of the floor his place is so clean.
You may not have written it but is it possible that you and your step-mom do not get along. If so it is not uncommon and would be were the real problem lies. If I am correct and your step-mom is also the primary disciplinarian then this just widens the gulf between you two.
Again let me emphasise this is just a feeling I am getting from what you are writing. If I'm wrong just stop reading here. If I'm correct please continue.
For whatever the reason you are living with your dad and step-mom is a fact of life you can do nothing about. While every teenager has a certain amount of rebellion in them, to focus your rebellion against your step-mom is counter productive for you, at least until you reach 18 years of age and can legally leave home should you choose to do so.
While there is nothing written that says you must love your step-mom; you do have honor and respect her if for no other reason than she is your fathers wife.
If your father has remarried because of divorce or because unfortunately your mother passed away, you have to remember two things. One if your father remarried because of divorce you had nothing to do with the cause of the divorce, that your father loves you just as much as he did when he was married to your mother. If you mother passed away your father is honoring her by remarriage. What he is saying is he so loved your mother and being married to her that living alone, again has nothing to do with you, was something he could not bear.
I know the last part sounds corny. You will have to take my word for it that it is really true.
My suggestion: Again if what I believe I am seeing but unsaid in your writing; you need to make peace with your step-mom. I am not suggesting you apologize, there is a difference. You need to sit down and have a women to women talk. Explain your feelings to her. Like I said nothing says you have to like or even love her; you do have to respect and honor her as your fathers wife. You may want to find away to use those exact words.
I would suggest that for this talk you ask her out to lunch. This is an old salesman's trick, you take the person you are trying to sell out of their comfort zone to someplace you would be more comfortable or at the very least offers and even playing field. This way you can have your conversation without interruptions. You need to find out what annoys the other the most about each other then find a way to work things out that do not include anger and groundings or the loss of privileges for which you have paid money towards.
Here again, if I'm wrong I apologize and just disregard what I have written.
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I honestly think your parents are being a bit too hard on you. You have a job, which is admirable in someone your age. You also seem to be paying for your cat, which you've accepted responsibility for. Also admirable. The "offenses" you list here are not out of the ordinary for a 17 year old to commit. 17 year olds are messy. If these are the worst things you can do I consider your parents pretty fortunate. Goodness knows you could be doing alot worse things right? I raised 3 kids on my own and learned very early on to pick my battles. I can honestly say I would not be battling with any one of my children over the things you've mentioned here. You could try having a serious talk with your parents, but chances are you're just going to have to bide your time until you're off to college or out on your own. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck!
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There isn't quite enough information here to go on, but I'd say sure, you can be ticked off, but that is about as much as you've got. You admit you are a slob, and that isn't nice to live with.
You are a minor living in your parents house. I don't think they'd be wise to ground you from a paid trip or force you to quit your job - I think those would be counter-productive parenting tactics, but it is also within thier powers to make those sorts of rules. (I'm tempted to bet your parents threats are hollow, which is an even worse partenting tactic then if they really meant to do it!)
Although you made a large investment into your pet cat, it is thier home, and they were well within thier rights to refuse to have the cat.
I know it sucks, and to a degree, it's supposed to suck. You are supposed to want out. By 17 you should be at the age where you are getting fed up with being a kid at home. It's part of what will motivate you to take the leap out into the world by yourself in the next few years.
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