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Long Distance Relationship...should we see other people?
Well here is some info about our situation. I am 17 f from Canada, he is 17 m from Usa. We met on the site omegle and ever since have been talking everyday for almost 13 months. We have never met in person. we only see eachother on skype from cam and voice. We have been planning for him to come up and meet me this summer. But...we are still waiting to see if his parents are going to allow him to or not. But there is also an issue of us getting jobs in the summer as well as him gettin the money to come here. Passport and wat not he has 2 get, but hes parents havent said if he is allowed to or not yet. so 4 or 5 months we are thinking a bout meeting. Dunno if its gonna happen though, weve been waiting for an answer for 13 months pretty much. I love him. He loves me. I know we are 17, but we are capable of love and it is my decision if i love some one or not. so please dont say i dont know wat love is. Yes everything is over the computer...you can still fall in love.
Well...i was talking to my cousin lastnit at a hockey game, and she was really talking to me about my whole long distance thing. ALot of wat she said made sense, and i have actually thought about them for months now. the idea that say he couldnt make it to come see me...what do we do then? still sit on the computer everyday and hope hell come next year? I love him so much, but my cousin said that ill regret not dating and doing stuff because im waiting for him. which is true, i feel that way. We both think that no one is going to come our way and that we are the ones for eachother. My cousin also said how his gonna be in college for 4 years...in that 4 years how many times is he gonna see me? which i tihnk is going to be very low not to metion its going to be harder because well only b able to see eachother for like 2 wks then he goes bk. There is alot more things on my mind, but i cant put them into words.
What i am asking is...should we still talk to eachother, but we can still date other people, as long as they know about the whole situation? should we try and do this because our love is so strong for eachother...in the mean while we have no clue how we are gonna be in person because its completly differnt? Should we end it and only b friends, but the thought of that makes me sick...cause we are so simular, he makes me so happy, he makes me laugh, he cares for me so much and does so much for me and hes always here for me. Iv never had a bf before...never kissed or had any physical contact with a guy ever. There is a guy i have been talkint to that wanted to hang out sometime...but id want my first date with Jake (the guy frm usa i talk to), my first kiss with him etc cause it means so much to the both of us, i just dont wanna do that for just anyone one.
There is alot on my mind at this point, it is extremely hard to do this, i cry at points because i just want to feel him or know how he smells or kisses ect. We are young, we do understand the positive and negative parts of this realtionship.
I just dont want us to regret dating within that 4 years or missing out on potential experenices. I dont want us to waste our lives on the computer when we could b in a real relationship with that physical intimacy. but we are perfect for eachother just no in the perfect situation. I cant see myself being with another guy besides him cause he has everything i want and need.
What do you think? Are you in the same situation?
what do you think we should do? Sorry for this being really long...i just have alot on my mind lol.
Ps. He is going to college next year...where there will me tons of new people and girls...so i think in ways us talking to eachother but we can still date is a good way...but he doesnt like it. he doesnt want to loose me. He was on verge of tears lastnit cause he doesnt want me to be with another guy. this is really hard decision...i just need some adive? thank you so much for your time and effort, i really appreciate it! thank you
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Before throwing away something you might regret, here is what I suggest. Meet his parents and have him meet yours. Get both of your parents to talk and both your parents and his parents will feel more comfortable with you meeting each other, in fact, they may help out financially, especially if one set of parents are really looking forward to a vacation. If they choose to tag along, let them because it's only for your safty and visa-versa. This will be the best way to see what your feelings for him truely are. The second thing is to examine your feelings and what your fears are about pursuing this relationship. From what is written, you are afraid of wasting your time on a long distance relationship, which could lead to heartbreak, however, no relationship is a waste of time because it teaches us to believe in love. It gives us hope and forces us to get out of our comfort zone and be able to give our hearts to another person. Whether or not it works in the future, is really a mute point. Even marriages that last 25 years could still end up in divorce. No relationship is ever guarenteed. What matter's is that we take the chance. Win or loose, we always win, because we have created special moments that will last a lifetime. if it works out, you could have a beautiful life together. If it dousn't, then you have had some special moments together and a better idea of the type of relationship you desire. If you love him, then love him, whether it be for the moment or a lifetime, but nothing is worse than living with the regret of "what if". I hope this helps.
Angel
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I'm in a long distance relationship too i think you
two should continue to talk if you feel so strongly about him and you truely can't see yourself with another boy that isn't him if you end it then you
could end up regretting it and you might not be able
to find another boy that has everything you want and
need like he does seeing as every boy is different
i think you should give it a shot there's no harm in
you continuing to talk to him so your relationship progresses in the end the only thing that truely matters is that your happy you've got to do what you think is right i don't think you should date
other people i think you two belong together it's
clear that you both can't live without one another
if your happy with the relationship and him then
continue it why ruin a good thing? :)
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first and foremost, being together and still dating is MUCH MUCH HARDER than just being together, even including that you're long distance. secondly, this can be nothing or everything depending on whether you still feel the good times are worth the bad.
people have put together this life pattern we're supposed to follow. go to high school and date around, maybe have a sweetheart. go to college, date around, have questionable sex experiences, and then fall in love and reproduce. it's the most rediculous thing.
in high school i could never follow that. I dated for long periods of time with few boys, all at least a year. one guy for two years. I have now been with someone long distance for over a year. I love him tenderly, and i would be so lost without him, so i completely agree that you can fall in love without ever really meeting someone.
now, if you really really don't want to lose him, or be with someone else, you have a couple options. You can work while he's at college and then go to move with him, and either continue working or go to college there (or vice versa). College won't make you unable to see each other, it opens up more time to see one another.
HOWEVER. do yourself a favor, and always always ALWAYS keep at LEAST 500 dollars in the bank if you need to get out of there. If things don't work out (even if you think they never will, as i do with my boyfriend) then you can pack up and leave the next day. nothing is more awkward than having to live together while trying to figure a way out.
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