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He's going away to college... should I give him my virginity?
ive been with my boyfriend for half a year and i am completely comfortable w him and i could defiinitely see myself losing it to him. the only problem is that i know hes goin to college and if i do it w him then hes just gona leave forever you kno. he wants to still see me in college but i feel like those things never work out. i know if i lose it, realistically, im not gonna necessarily get married to the person i lose my virginity to (and im ok with that), but i want it to be with someone who truly cares about me and i truly care about. so what do you think.. should i do it even if i know things for our future dont look good for the sake of losing it to someone i have strong feelings for&am comfortable with?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
My advice is to wait until you are sure you are ready. You don't want to loose your virginity just for the sake of loosing it. There is alot of responsibility that comes with sex, especially emotional and if you are with a man that dous not share the same love and respect for you as you do for him, you may walk away feeling used and hurt.
Another reason why you want to make sure you have someone who loves and respects you is because the first time hurts physically. If he cares and respects you, he will be more patient,gentle and mindful of your needs, which will only deepen the love and respect for one another.
Once you loose your virginity, you will never get it back.
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Negatory. You're right, those things rarely work out. College changes you, a lot! If you give the ONE gift you have to give that you can never get back, you'll end up regretting it. If you really want to do this, wait. Let him get in a few months at college. Then, if it still feels right, plan something special for Christmas break or something. I really think you'll regret doing it right before he goes away to college. Not right away, but someday you will.
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Do it only because you:
A) Really want to. You have the desire to do it, and not only because you want to do it for your boyfriend.
B) You are ready. Meaning physically, emotionally, etc. You have all the protection you need and you are ready to take this step. Do you
feel mature enough to do this? Are you secure in your relationship? What if you feel different about yourself after? Some girls feel used, dirty, or just weird after having sex for the first time. Can you handle that?
Do you have the support you need like friends, parents, a counselor, someone to talk to? I suggest you definitely do that before making this decision.
C)Are prepared for the consequences. Like you said, your boyfriend will be going off to college.
If you lose your virginity to him, you will always remember him. It will make him leaving that much harder. It will change the relationship you have now, and it could complicate it or make things awkward. Are you ready to face that?
Being comfortable with him is great and important. Having strong feelings for him is also great. Just really examine your relationship and decide if sex is a good step for the both of you, in terms of now, and the future.
Most importantly, USE PROTECTION! I know you have heard it a million times, but it only takes one slip up to have a baby or get an STD.
Good luck,
-Abby
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