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I need help on new relationship
I met this girl at church three and a half months ago. She is a good person and we are so compatible. I love her a lot. I have some issues with her not calling me until the late evening, not answering my texts or even remember my birthday! She doesn't work and her kids are at school. Plus, she is always busy to see me. She never commits to a time and if she does she rarely follows thru. I feel that new relationships require time together not once every three weeks. What should i do? Am I asking for too much? By the way she just left a abusive relationship before we met. now when do see each other she treats me and makes me feel special but I am hurt because I don't see her often.
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What you must understand is that this woman you like, comes from a horrible past relationship. Coming out of an abusive relationship is lucky, and great, but those memories from that relationship hardly ever go away. She's probably still haunted by all of it. And if there are kids involved, then of course she's going to have to take care of her children. Yes she may not have work, she may not always call you, she rarely follows through but what do you expect from her? Her life is hectic, she has a horrible past, she has no job, and she's a single mom raising children. To me that sounds pretty damn impressive. Yeah, alright, she hardly has time but do you blame her? Look, her life is a mess. Maybe it's too soon to start the 'relationship'. Maybe it's a better idea to become her friend first, be there for her, support her, help her. Wait until she's got her life together, wait until she's ready and not afraid of being in a relationship anymore, wait! Because if you want to start a relationship, you want to start it right. And if you start one now, with they way she is, it's not gonna work. So, it's either you move on, or you wait. So the real question here is, are you willing to wait, is she worth it?
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Well that doesn't sound good at all. You should dump her. She doesn't seem like she's interested in you at all. If she's always busy that means she doesn't want you in her life. It's sad but maybe it's true. Your not asking for a lot at all and that's completely normal to be concerned about your new relationship. She was in a abusive relationship before so she might not be really into anyone new right now. She's giving you too much space. If she doesn't get better the best thing to do would be to dump her.
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ok, let's break this down:
1 - she doesn't call until late
2 - she doesn't answer texts
3 - she forgot your birthday
4-she is too busy to see you
5 - she never commits to seeing you
6 - she rarely follow through.
Read through that list. Does that sound like someone you'd like to be in a relationship with? It sounds to me like she isn't really into this relationship. It probably is too soon for her to be getting involved in a serious relationship. Recovering from an abusive relationship actually take a long, long time. I know you love her, but you should put this one on hold for now. You can explain to her that you care for her, but you need to protect your own heart as well, so until she decides she is ready for a real relationship, you want to go your own way. Then walk away from this one. It doesn't sound good.
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I would talk to her about how you're feeling, talking out your problems with the person that you're dating is very important. It could be that she's feeling a litle insecure, is playing hard to get or is just not as into you as you are her. If you talk to her and things still aren't working out, break up with her because both parties need to put in the effort.
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